Need some advice on exclusion within setting

Hi all.  I have two young girls going through the diagnosis process, but everyone who's seen my three year old (who this post is about) so far agrees that she is quite severely autistic (no speech, won't eat solids, behaviour problems etc etc).

 

She has attended a private nursery for a few hours a week for the last year.  They've been great with her, and she enjoys going.  She is due to move up to their pre-school section after Christmas.  I wanted to apply for her to be 'statemented' recently, but was advised to wait until she'd been in pre-school a while, even though I have visited several schools and have found 'the one'!

 

Her keyworker approached me today, and said that the nursery are doing their annual nativity play soon, in a local church, and what do I want to do about my daughter, as they think the dark echoey environment would upset her, and she wouldn't sit still.  I totally agree with this.  At first I offered to escort her, then after a bit more talking I suggested that she could simply swap her day at nursery, thus avoiding the nativity altogether.  Her keyworker said "OK, thank you".  I then spoke to another nursery worker, briefly, who said again that they thought it would be best for her if she wasn't there.  Again, I agreed.

When I got home though, I started to feel quite cross.  The key worker made out at first that they were doing her a favour, but then by saying thank you surely she thought we were doing the nursery a favour?!  Am I wrong in thinking that a)she is being excluded from an event that other children are attending, and that b)surely this would reinforce my initial feeling that she should not be attending a mainstream environment?  Am I also being a bit oversensitive about the fact the staff have obviously been discussing 'the problem'? 

Parents
  • hi - this must have been hurtful to you.  They should apologise.  I think it illustrates  that mainstream may not be the right environment for your daughter.  Staff have obviously been discussing things + then you were approached.  Staff have to discuss things but it's the outcome, the thought process, that's the trouble.  Saying that, there seem to be some good primary schools about so I don't want to tar everyone with the same brush.  It's where you think your daughter would be best placed that counts.    My son was diagnosed before he was 3, a statement then followed + he went to a school for children with autism.  When he was little all diagnosed/statemented children went to this school, as far as I can tell. The process just began + continued through till he was allocated his place at school.  Very small classes, high staff ratio with staff who understood autism.  They always had their Christmas play + every child had a part.  He enjoyed school.  He said his 1st words at that school.  He wouldn't have coped in mainstream, even with an assistant.  If I were you, I'd go with my instincts.  Children + adults with asd need staff who are well trained + understanding in the condition.  They also need the "right" environment.  Put the 2 together + progress will be made.  That's my opinion, learnt thru experience (good + bad).  good luck + bw

Reply
  • hi - this must have been hurtful to you.  They should apologise.  I think it illustrates  that mainstream may not be the right environment for your daughter.  Staff have obviously been discussing things + then you were approached.  Staff have to discuss things but it's the outcome, the thought process, that's the trouble.  Saying that, there seem to be some good primary schools about so I don't want to tar everyone with the same brush.  It's where you think your daughter would be best placed that counts.    My son was diagnosed before he was 3, a statement then followed + he went to a school for children with autism.  When he was little all diagnosed/statemented children went to this school, as far as I can tell. The process just began + continued through till he was allocated his place at school.  Very small classes, high staff ratio with staff who understood autism.  They always had their Christmas play + every child had a part.  He enjoyed school.  He said his 1st words at that school.  He wouldn't have coped in mainstream, even with an assistant.  If I were you, I'd go with my instincts.  Children + adults with asd need staff who are well trained + understanding in the condition.  They also need the "right" environment.  Put the 2 together + progress will be made.  That's my opinion, learnt thru experience (good + bad).  good luck + bw

Children
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