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Struggling with the pressure of ASD child, everyday is a fight.

Maz&Alfie

Hi all,

I'm usually a really fun bubbly and outgoing person but the almost daily struggled of looking after my 6 year old son (undiagnosed) is really taking its toll on me.

Children's services suggested I go to the doctors but I don't want to go on anti depressants. I go to the gym when I can, some times twice a week, sometimes not at all. I have also joined a book club that I go to fortnightly. Even though I'm making some time for myself once I'm home and back with Alfie I feel down a deflated again.

Does anyone else feel or felt that same? how do you cope?

  • Hi Maz&Alfie

    I'm new here but your post shouted out to me. 

    I'm a mum to two autistic lads and one in the process of being diagnosed. 

    Sometimes it can be a very lonely life as an parent to autistic children as our whole life is consumed around them, this is our parent instinct to protect them.

    I really struggled when they were younger, I wasn't sure which way I should be turning to make the daily meltdowns ect easier. 

    You seem to be doing well though, keeping yourself as busy as possible and having you time. I found that so important, just having a bit of me time truthfully I've never truly got the hang of it. 

    Even if it's 5 mins locking yourself in the bathroom and having a good cry or even historical laughing (everyone's coping of emotions is different Joy) 

    The one thing I would say is keep your friends close don't allow your situation to consume you as a person. Keep those meet ups or catch ups over coffee even though sometimes the thought is to cancel due to tiredness or just not wanting to go out. 

  • Hi ,

    I'm really sorry to hear that you have been going through a tough time and thank you for sharing this with us.

    You may like to contact our Parent to Parent service who offers emotional support to parents and carers of children or adults with autism. This service is confidential and run by trained parent volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism . 

    You contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/parent-to-parent/enquiry.aspx

    You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx

    I hope this is useful for you,

    ChloeMod

  • Hi,

    I am new here and just saw your post! Life is hard just looking after one child let alone a child with additional needs. You're not alone darling! You have shown interest in taking part in activities and that's a start. Take each day at a slow pace as everyday is a new challenge. Try making some 'me' time even if it's going out for a coffee whilst Alfie is at Nursery or watching your favourite program on Netflix.

    I don't enjoy every day of it I admit.. and I do look back at my life before my child came along which was completely different. But it is what it is and we just got to soldier on.. his smile keeps me going and I have good and bad days. 

    For the sake of sanity, I sometimes cave and give into my son's demands and it's okay because that's how I cope... just remember your'e not alone. If you can leave Alfie with a family member and have some social time out would be great for your mental health... I feel as if it takes my mind off things..