Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm new to the forum, I'm struggling to get any support or suggestions in my local area, I have a huge list of thigs I need help and advice about but Rome wasn't built in a day.
My 6 year old son is not diagnosed but is showing signs of PDA Pathological demand avoidance.
One of our biggest challenges is Alfie getting dressed in the mornings.
He literally just does what he wants to do, if we try to dress him he has a meltdown and will take all his clothes off. Most mornings he gets dressed at the very last minute but then can't have breakfast at home (he has breakfast at breakfast club) that then leads onto the whole other problem of getting him out of the door without breakfast. I know this sounds like standard child behaviour but everything is on a heightened and more extreme level. Alfie can often hurt himself and others.
Does anyone have any suggestions about methods or techniques I could try?
I have tried the obvious like alarms and reward charts. they will work for 2-3 days and then he decides he doesn't want to do them anymore.
I'm open to trying anything, Mornings are an absolute disaster.
The mornings are the hardest for me as well. Firstly, I do not have time to prepare breakfast and get dressed myself and my child. I wrote down some rules and put them on his door. That way, he looks at them every morning and becomes intimidated. He has to brush his teeth, prepare the clothes and make his bed.
Hi Maz&Alfie,
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your son's behaviour recently. Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies.
You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:
http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour.aspx
You may find this link to information on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) from the NAS website useful:
https://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx
You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx
You may like to contact The Autism Helpline who can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.
I hope this is useful,
ChloeMod
My son doesn’t have PDA but around that age we (picked a good moment) and agreed/wrote morning rules which we laminated and put up on his bedroom wall. They included as soon as dressed and teeth brushed he could go downstairs and watch tv on volume 10. If he went downstairs before dressed no TV that day. Yes, we did have a few shouting matches to begin with but as the rules were written and laminated they have remained non negotiable, now a couple of years on it is an unquestioned routine, even on holiday. He has his clothes laid out for him the night before, all clothes are easy fastening etc. I admit the teeth brushing can sometimes be hit and miss where he will run the brush under the tap to pretend they are brushed but as soon as I go down stairs TV is paused until he has gone up and brushed them. it was worth a week of meltdowns and arguments for us to have permanently solved the getting dressed battle we had! Obviously every child is different so not sure if it would work for you but good luck either way.