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Did i cause my childs autism

NAS66123

I have a 4yo girl diagnosed with autism.

I just cant help but think it is my fault that she has autism. When she was a baby and had only just began to roll she accidently rolled off our bed on to a hard floor. 

I feel like this is the reason she may have it as all her blood tests came back as normal.

I have never voiced this concern before as i am so ashamed. I cry about it all the time. I havent said it even to my husband. 

But i worry that maybe i should talk to my childs doctor about it or voice this to a professional. I just dont know how im going to ever say it out loud. But feel like i need to for my daughters sake.

I dont really know what im asking i just hit a low point with it and know i nees help! 

Parents

  • Dear parent,

    You did not cause your daughter to be autistic by having an accident. This occurs with babies all the time, more than 1 in 60 babies (I would hazard a guess) fall off beds. If the hospital said your baby was fine then, they are fine now. Babies are very resilient to knocks and bashes; otherwise, the humanity may not have survived after such injuries; thus, nor evolved alike it has. 

    Importantly, most importantly, your daughter is a wonderful human being who is autistic. This is not a bad thing. The struggle that she may encounter is more to do with the society not understanding or accepting her as she is. This may provoke masking behaviour, which would promote mental health issues. However, maybe she won't for other reasons. The world is constructed for neurotypical people. This is what I suggest focusing on - alter your daughter's surrounding so she can be herself and happy. Advocate for a society that accepts her and accommodates her needs. Whatever support level she may need, you can do your best to attain them and champion for reasonable adjustments (which, at times, will not be enough). As 'reasonable' is only so in a macro sense, and not for her. 

    All the best, and I hope this comes welcomed.

    Nathan 

Reply

  • Dear parent,

    You did not cause your daughter to be autistic by having an accident. This occurs with babies all the time, more than 1 in 60 babies (I would hazard a guess) fall off beds. If the hospital said your baby was fine then, they are fine now. Babies are very resilient to knocks and bashes; otherwise, the humanity may not have survived after such injuries; thus, nor evolved alike it has. 

    Importantly, most importantly, your daughter is a wonderful human being who is autistic. This is not a bad thing. The struggle that she may encounter is more to do with the society not understanding or accepting her as she is. This may provoke masking behaviour, which would promote mental health issues. However, maybe she won't for other reasons. The world is constructed for neurotypical people. This is what I suggest focusing on - alter your daughter's surrounding so she can be herself and happy. Advocate for a society that accepts her and accommodates her needs. Whatever support level she may need, you can do your best to attain them and champion for reasonable adjustments (which, at times, will not be enough). As 'reasonable' is only so in a macro sense, and not for her. 

    All the best, and I hope this comes welcomed.

    Nathan 

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