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Teen mental health - what's worked for you?an

NAS65750

Hello, I'm new here.

13yo daughter (Y9) - quite academic, in mainstream, has never been a fan of school but we cope, lurching from one issue to the next - is really struggling with low mood and all round poor mental health. It's hard to unpick (if it's even possible) what's depression/anxiety and what's just being a moody teenager. She was self-harming but that seems to have reduced in frequency (or she's hiding it significantly more artfully), and that prompted us to seek all and any help we could, which was... almost non-existent, at least not in a helpful timeframe. She's also exhibiting some disordered eating. The message I'm getting is that unless she's got an actual suicide plan or has lost a significant amount of weight, there's nothing else available to us here and now.

We've been told there's anything from a 20 week to an 18 month wait for Camhs in our area, and several people I've spoken to who've had experience with them haven't exactly been complimentary. We've sought out help and advice from all the websites and helplines but being good at research, and not beginners when it comes to MH issues, people are nice but they can't really offer much.

On top of this D1 doesn't really want to engage with anything. She talks to us about everyday, superficial things, and participates in most of her usual activities (she's having the odd day off school when things get bad but mostly we can get her out of the door) but she absolutely does not want to talk to us about her feelings. And tbh I doubt I'd have wanted to be counselled by my parents at that age either, however sympathetic. 

And alongside all of this I'm absolutely convinced that her day to day reality of being a child on the spectrum in a world, and in institutions, not built for her, is a significant factor, if not the only thing, that is behind this, so I'm not confident that non-ASD trained professionals will be much use. 

Long term, what I wish for her, is that she builds some skills and strategies over the next few years to be able to handle her emotional ups and downs, so she can do what she wants to do in the world. This requires proper counselling/mentoring/therapy. But I just don't know if that's realistic. But I know that MH issues are far more prevalent among ASD adults than the general population, and that most MH problems start in adolescence, so I can't just leave her and hope things get better for her. Because even if they do this time, what about next time?

Does anyone have any great resources, words of wisdom, bits of signposting, anything that could help us beyond what our good Googling so far will have found? 

Thanks in advance.

Parents

  • Hello

    I'm sorry to hear of your struggles but it sounds like you're doing a great job with loads of understanding. 

    My son is under CAMHS for his mental health and has been for 18 months.  He was diagnosed with ASD and coped at school but really started to struggle in year 8. He did group behavioral activation therapy but didn't feel he benefited him and was then referred to Healios. It's through the NHS. I'm not 100 sure if you can refer directly as we were referred to CAHMS but it's worth looking into.  It's online CBT therapy through an app. It's like facetime. My son would log on in his room I'd be downstairs and the therapist where ever he is. He was well qualified with a PHD in psychology. It was 10 hourly weekly sessions any time up till 9 pm. Perfect for my boy so he wasn't stressed about going out.  There was a bit of a waiting list to get into it (about 3 months)

    It was really good and he got to the nitty gritty of what was happening.  In my lads circumstance he's been referred back to CAHMS for further review but it did really help him.  He's definitely learnt some coping statergies to help him cope in different situations. 

  • in reply to GaelicNik

    Thanks Niknak, I'll look at that. So far, with trying to access help for the self-harming, D1 hasn't wanted to engage with anything digital. At least not eg the CalmHarm app or the Shout text crisis service. But I'll look up Healios, as I don't think I've come across it. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to NAS65750

    Hi there, just to note I live in Warwickshire- NHS wise it's Coventry and Warwickshire.  I think you're right though, it's likely been offered to offset the burden to regular CAMHS. Maybe this is something that will grow to cope with demand. 

  • in reply to NAS65750

    I know, it's awful and im sorry if you're experiencing problems.  It's like no one is listening to you. It's like a battle that is so so tiring. Not just with CAMHS but also with school. In my own personal experience school is the major factor. Bullying and just not understanding and listening to what you're saying. 

  • in reply to GaelicNik

    Hi, yes, we have used them. Got a call back from a psychologist and she was, well, a bit bizarre tbh. But again I'm sure they're great for some people, just didn't help us really.

  • in reply to GaelicNik

    Ideology aside, I just meant that's why it will only be available in some areas. I just don't understand why Camhs equate autism with 'not our responsibility'. In our area the neurodisability service doesn't offer anything after diagnosis other than workshops for parents. So what are we supposed to do?

  • in reply to NAS65750

    my lad was the same. Young minds are really good. They do have a text message service but also good for parental advice. 

  • in reply to NAS65750

    I completely know where you're coming from in regards to it being a private company. I had reservations myself at first. But my son had been hospitalised twice, and still CAMHS wanted to discharge him as they stated his mental health issues were due to his autism. He then overdosed after the discharge letter. It was it this point they offered Healios. To put it bluntly, I didn't care about where the company came from, I just took the help offered. It did work thankfully. The psychologist was fantastic. 

  • in reply to NAS65750

    Another update for anyone else reading: so Healios is a contracted out therapy and assessment service, so only available in areas where the local clinical commissioning group has entered into a partnership with them. This isn't in any way to suggest that the service isn't good - I'm glad to hear it worked so well for you - but it's a private provider, legally a company limited by shares. I'm guessing it's attractive to small CCGs where it isn't cost effective to run full Camhs and adult mental health services, with premises and staff etc, or it would require people in a spread out eg rural area to travel a long way to access services. I'll still find out if our local area works with them or a similar service, but as we're in a city I suspect it won't.