Hello, I'm new here.
13yo daughter (Y9) - quite academic, in mainstream, has never been a fan of school but we cope, lurching from one issue to the next - is really struggling with low mood and all round poor mental health. It's hard to unpick (if it's even possible) what's depression/anxiety and what's just being a moody teenager. She was self-harming but that seems to have reduced in frequency (or she's hiding it significantly more artfully), and that prompted us to seek all and any help we could, which was... almost non-existent, at least not in a helpful timeframe. She's also exhibiting some disordered eating. The message I'm getting is that unless she's got an actual suicide plan or has lost a significant amount of weight, there's nothing else available to us here and now.
We've been told there's anything from a 20 week to an 18 month wait for Camhs in our area, and several people I've spoken to who've had experience with them haven't exactly been complimentary. We've sought out help and advice from all the websites and helplines but being good at research, and not beginners when it comes to MH issues, people are nice but they can't really offer much.
On top of this D1 doesn't really want to engage with anything. She talks to us about everyday, superficial things, and participates in most of her usual activities (she's having the odd day off school when things get bad but mostly we can get her out of the door) but she absolutely does not want to talk to us about her feelings. And tbh I doubt I'd have wanted to be counselled by my parents at that age either, however sympathetic.
And alongside all of this I'm absolutely convinced that her day to day reality of being a child on the spectrum in a world, and in institutions, not built for her, is a significant factor, if not the only thing, that is behind this, so I'm not confident that non-ASD trained professionals will be much use.
Long term, what I wish for her, is that she builds some skills and strategies over the next few years to be able to handle her emotional ups and downs, so she can do what she wants to do in the world. This requires proper counselling/mentoring/therapy. But I just don't know if that's realistic. But I know that MH issues are far more prevalent among ASD adults than the general population, and that most MH problems start in adolescence, so I can't just leave her and hope things get better for her. Because even if they do this time, what about next time?
Does anyone have any great resources, words of wisdom, bits of signposting, anything that could help us beyond what our good Googling so far will have found?
Thanks in advance.
