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Newbie, needs some advice

Barnaby Crumble

Hi, my son (15yrs) has finally been put on the sen at school, we have had a letter saying he is on the autistic spectrum with probable diagnosis of aspergers, he is having a melt down at the moment as they have started exams and he goes completely introvert, loses his memory and spends a huge amount of time in another dimension , and his little ways are exasperated hugely, he is having weekly meetings with cahms but up til now he's had them fooled into thinking he's feeling fine as he just agrees with every thing they say and then comes home and can't remember going to the meetings, its the exams that are the big problem, he just can't cope, the school have been able to put him in a room on his Own to take the maths ones last week but he has been home yesterday and today as he is Just out of it and exhausted mentally, 

      I had a really upsetting phone call from school today, a teacher I don't know said I had to take him to a meeting tomorrow as he is in the d/c group, basically he's getting d's in his course work and they want to discuss with him how he can improve his grades, I asked her If she was up to speed with sons situation and she said yes he still needed to go to this meeting, I said no way, that I'd go and see how we could support him but it was to stressful for him at the moment, she had a right go at me and said she used to teach him and he was fine, and had seen him last week for a chat and there was nothing wrong, i laughed and said im sure he agreed with everything younsaid, its his way of getting out of stressfull situations and I said you do know he's on the autistic spectrum dont you and she said he doesn't have his official diagnosis yet its not relevant, I was in tears. She said she would pass on my opinion to the relevant teacher , some one I've been in good contact with for weeks, and have a good parent /teacher relationship with, so now they are going to think I'm being unhelpful

    She wanted to know how they were ment to help my son decide what options he had once hleft school if I wouldn't let him attend, when I'd already told her we had got him a place at college sorted.an that I'd already seen all his teachers at parents evening last week. Am I right to refuse him goin to the meeting, I don't even want him to take the exams, I'd like her to see him now rewinding his favourite bit of a programme over and over again athe look at the time every couple of minutes and tell me he's ok.I'm so new to this I don't know what to do for the best for my son

Parents

  • Thank you for your brilliant replies, you really helped. I had a cahms meeting today , they were appalled and are raising theiconcerned with the school, I then had a meeting with the year head, she was lovely and has had a word with the teacher involved , but has told me off the record that this teacher is a problem as is the head, and although she and the other teachers that my son has ,agree that he shouldn't be doing exams, I will have real problems when it comes to these two people, the heads up was appreciated, so our plan of action is they are taking him out of the RE exam, and out of that lesson to free it up for some down time in a room that they have all set up for kids that need their quiet time during the day, and the maths and English exams in January are scrapped, he may still have to take them in June but that gitimely son some relief and no pressure and her time to try and get him out of exams.

          I told my son about the new plans, and he hugged me!!. He hasn't instigated any physical contact for over 6 months.. I nearly cried.he giggled for an hr and his ticks were going off like a rocket, and has spent the rest of the evening shattered laying on the sofa, fingers crossed his sleeping patterns settle now and he can feel more settled. If I needed any is sign that I  did the right thing, one 5 second hug was what did it. It was the best 5 seconds I could ever imagine thanks again for your replies

    Rxx

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  • Thank you for your brilliant replies, you really helped. I had a cahms meeting today , they were appalled and are raising theiconcerned with the school, I then had a meeting with the year head, she was lovely and has had a word with the teacher involved , but has told me off the record that this teacher is a problem as is the head, and although she and the other teachers that my son has ,agree that he shouldn't be doing exams, I will have real problems when it comes to these two people, the heads up was appreciated, so our plan of action is they are taking him out of the RE exam, and out of that lesson to free it up for some down time in a room that they have all set up for kids that need their quiet time during the day, and the maths and English exams in January are scrapped, he may still have to take them in June but that gitimely son some relief and no pressure and her time to try and get him out of exams.

          I told my son about the new plans, and he hugged me!!. He hasn't instigated any physical contact for over 6 months.. I nearly cried.he giggled for an hr and his ticks were going off like a rocket, and has spent the rest of the evening shattered laying on the sofa, fingers crossed his sleeping patterns settle now and he can feel more settled. If I needed any is sign that I  did the right thing, one 5 second hug was what did it. It was the best 5 seconds I could ever imagine thanks again for your replies

    Rxx

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