Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
I have just joined here, in the hope to get some advice and reassurance.
my son is 18 months, I have 4 other children aged from 10 to 17, so he is my baby and all of our baby!! He is fussed over, doted on and loved so much. Up until Christmas I was not worried about him, but comparing a family members 15 month old has worried me sick since.
my little boy loves to play and be chased and run away from his brothers and sister, he loves nursery rhymes and is so happy when we put them on Alexa or sing to him, he does interact with me at these points. However these are the things I am concerned about
he doesn’t respond to his name, if daddy or anyone comes through the door he doesn’t look up or show any interest in who it is. He plays with his toys but will never come over to me to show me or give me things when I say ta. He doesn’t talk, But does babble, I’m sure he used to say dada and duck but that seems to have stopped. Although whilst out shopping the other day in the trolley he kept saying “out” I’m sure. When I sing row row your boat he sways back and forwards laughing and occasionally when I ask him if he wants to jump he’ll take my hands and jump. if the door bell goes he will not look around and doesn’t have any interest who is there. We also went to see my partners nan yesterday he didn’t interact with her once, he was far too busy trying to pull her ornaments down lol but she said, oh bless him he’s in a world of his own which added to My anxiety.
I have now got myself in such a state, analysing everything and googling things. I called up health visitor 3 times in last two weeks, they said the first two times that there is nothing they can do anyway until 2. But the third time I rang and begged them to come and see him, so they are coming in a couple of weeks,.
I would be so grateful for any advice, and help with a few questions. I’m concerned that he will start to lose skills he’s already learnt and get worse, is this possible? And if he did have autism, what help is there? Will he get better? Is there anything I can do to help him? I sit in the floor and play with him a lot, but feel like I should do more. Sorry if I sound neurotic I just need some advice from people who understand rather than this googling and scaring myself.
NAS65946 To help me understand your point of view would you mind describing in more detail how your brother is debilitated by being autistic? The autistic individuals that I know who are disabled are this way due to co-occurring conditions.
Neurodiversity really only applies to one end of the spectrum. My brother was diagnosed back in the 80s and his autism can only be described as debilitating. It's great that you embrace your Asperger's syndrome, but your experience is not representative of everyone. I think that making ASD an umbrella diagnosis was unhelpful because it means that people use the same term for dramatically different conditions. I always feel like we end up talking at cross-purposes.
It comes across as though your view of autism is based on outdated stereotypes. As such, what you think autism is and how it will affect your son doesn't reflect the reality of being autistic. For example, I teach, have a husband, a child, friends etc... In fact, I feel incredibly sorry for my husband whose life is controlled by his need for social acceptance and I have sat and cried at the thought that our LO, who is still a newborn, may be a neurotypical like him and have her life limited in this way.
Many parts of society are moving away from seeing autism as a disability and instead understand that its a natural neurological difference. Look up the neurodiversity movement for more information on this. Your son is who he is, if it means he is autistic, he is still exactly the same child and the future is open to him in every way. Most limitations for autistic people do not come from being autistic but rather societies reaction to this.
I recommend this book - https://smile.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Asperger-Syndrome-Childhood-diagnosed/dp/1847094929/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Autism+and+Asperger+Syndrome+in+Childhood%3A+For+parents+and+carers+of+the+newly+diagnosed&qid=1581793150&sr=8-1
I know it's in a mother's nature to worry, but honestly I think 18 months is too early to be concerned. Development is not the straightforward, linear process that people would have us believe. There's a lot of variation, even between siblings. As my mother is fond of saying "don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you". You may be stressing about nothing.
Hello NAS65304, While you wait for the health advisor to see your son, you may find it useful to have a look at our autism page on our website which has a vast amount of information. The page contains information on the basics of what the autism spectrum is, how it's defined in a clinical sense, and the characteristics of autism: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asd.aspx All the best.