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Divorce / Separation

NAS65195

I have a 6 year old son who was diagnosed with ASD when he was 4 years old. He has been living with me and my wife throughout his life, however; at the end of October 2019 my wife and I separated. My wife moved out and moved into her mother's home and she has taken our son with her.

My wife initially refused me access to our son and from my side I have done everything by the book because I don't want to cause any distress to our son. For example, I am in constant contact with his school to keep up to date with his progress and I can quite easily walk into school and take him out as I have joint parental responsibility and the school will not stop me from doing that. But, as I said before I am making sure I do everything by the book to not cause any distress to my son.

6 weeks after moving out and refusing access, my wife agreed to me visiting my son at her mother's house. This arrangement was made through the solicitors and I was meant to go and visit my son at her mother's home. On the day I turned up to find my wife, my mother in law and my son sitting in my wife's car parked outside her mother's home. It was obvious from the moment I saw this, it was a setup designed to ensure the visit was a failure. I only saw my son for a few mins and had to call the police as the mother in law became aggresive.

I am now not going to attempt any further visits as they will pull further stunts to ensure the visits fail and it is my son who will suffer the most. I am pursuing this via the courts but that takes time, a long time...

Just wondering if there are other people out there in the same boat as me? I have said to my solicitor that I want time with my son where he comes over at weekends and stays with me, that I want holidays to be split equally so that I get my fair share of time with my son.

Anyone out there who has been through something like this, is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Parents

  • Presumably, as you called the police, they will have a record of the incident. While you pursue your legal case for access it might be useful for you to ask your legal representative to write to your wife. The car incident casts doubt on your wife as a responsible parent; if she puts her own sense of spite above the interests of your son, she could be viewed by the courts as being the less suitable parent to have day-to-day custody. This might give your wife, and termagant of a mother-in-law, pause for thought before pulling any similar stunts. That your son is autistic is leverage for the necessity of establishing a fixed routine to your access, by interrupting such a routine your wife would be exacerbating your son's distress at having routines changed.

Reply

  • Presumably, as you called the police, they will have a record of the incident. While you pursue your legal case for access it might be useful for you to ask your legal representative to write to your wife. The car incident casts doubt on your wife as a responsible parent; if she puts her own sense of spite above the interests of your son, she could be viewed by the courts as being the less suitable parent to have day-to-day custody. This might give your wife, and termagant of a mother-in-law, pause for thought before pulling any similar stunts. That your son is autistic is leverage for the necessity of establishing a fixed routine to your access, by interrupting such a routine your wife would be exacerbating your son's distress at having routines changed.

Children
  • in reply to Martin

    I'm sorry that you don't have the opportunity to see your son and actively participate in his life. Your son probably needs his father's love, care, and education. I am convinced that parents should be in close contact with their children in any situation. Of course, you should not try to save your marriage for your child's happy life because it cannot be happy when there is no understanding and love between the parents. In your case, I recommend contacting a good family law firm. Specialists from https://www.burnett-law.co.za/divorce/ will help you find a solution to the problem and establish contact with your son.