Any mums from York with Aspergers children?

Hi, I am mum to a 6 year old girl with Aspergers. I sometimes find it very isolating as I don't know any other parents of children with Aspergers. We have lost friends over the past year mainly down to the fact that I have to cancel outings at the last minute if my daugter is having a meltdown usually over something sensory. I feel that my friends don't understand what its like every day living with what comes with Aspergers (the nightmare mornings, the sensory overloads, the many meltdowns etc).

This is my life and I wouldn't change my children for anything but would be great to have some friends who can relate to the many stressful and challenging parts of our family life.

x

  • Hi Kt333 & Myboy

    I live in York and my son is 6 years old. We are currently in the middle of the process of diagnosis for Aspergers at Limetrees. I know just how you feel. My son has no friends and many meltdowns.

    He is also hyperactive but just taking him to the park is a nightmare. He gets either very angry and aggressive with other kids because they wont do as he says or so full on that he tries to hug them all the time - either way the other parents look at us in that "can't you control your child" way. The answer is of course no I can't!

    He wants to spend all his time on the playstation and its so sad to see him so cooped up and then by bedtime because of the hyperactivity he's bouncing off the walls with all that unused energy.

    He's so loving and trusting and I just want to protect him from all the ignorance and prejudice thats out there.

    Kt333 please let me know if you want to meet up or if you just want to talk on the phone or by email

  • Hello, I have a 7 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome and like the lady in York feel very isolated at times, not only because of the stressful times like when he truly doesn't understand that because I'm popping up the road for 5 minutes it doesn't mean that I won't be coming back and when I do return he is absolutely distraught because in his words "I was so scared mummy I thought you'd left me", like when I try to explain that it's not very nice to tell the children in his class to "go away, leave me alone" when they are trying to make friends and to which his reply is "I don't need friends, I have my children" (his children are a group of soft toys which sit on his bed and who he talks to) he doesn't understand how important it is to have friends.

    He needs his routine and much, much warning in advance if anything is to change in that daily routine.  He does not play with toys, he does not like football or any sport, he prefers the company of adults to that of children his own age and yet he loves to sit on the computer, not playing games as most children would, for again, in his words "games are for children"! no, he is on the computer reading all manner of technical information regarding operating systems and different types of software/hardware.  He reads and knows all about Bill Gates and has taught himself how to do Powerpoint presentations, batch files and so, so much more .. things his father and I do not even know how to do or how to go about doing them.  He would sit on the computer 24 hours a day if we let him.  Friends, who are much more 'computer minded' than us are totally amazed at how much he knows and what he can do and he is happy, BUT sometimes oh how we wish he was just like other 7 year olds, playing and getting grubby in the garden and kicking a ball about with friends.    

    It is so hard at times and I have found myself rarely going anywhere without him when he is not at school because I cannot bear to see him upset.  It hurts when he doesn't understand that it really doesn't matter if you lose when playing a board game because he gets so upset.  It hurts when he doesn't want to join in the school assembly or Christmas play because "I'm scared".  It hurts when at the end of the school day he comes running out of the classroom screaming with tears pouring down his face because "I missed you so much mummy" and to see the shocked looks on other mothers' faces as if to say "what is wrong with that child?"  To look at his little face and see the look of fright and worry because there is so much he doesn't understand and no matter how you try to explain why things happen, he is lost and no amount of explaining will make him see things clearly.

    We love him with all our hearts because for all the hardship he is a loving, caring, polite little boy with a heart of gold.  He loves "his dogs" and he loves "his fish" and he loves us.  Our child is special! 

    I had my son rather late in life at 43 years old and it would be so lovely to hear from anyone with a child with Aspergers.

    Thank you.

     

  • Hi kt333

    I thought you might be interested in finding support groups in your local area as that's a great way to meet up with families similar to your own and find understanding friends. I've put a link below to the Autism Services Directory where you could have a look around yourself at what's going on near you.

    www.autism.org.uk/directory

    From there I had a look myself and found some local services which might interest you:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/directory/resources/6031.aspx

    That’s some information about the North Yorkshire NAS Branch which looked to have some possible appropriate groups.

    This forum is a great place for us all to share information and experiences anonymously and safely. It's helpful to share local information on here and exchange thoughts and ideas, but if you want to make direct contact or meet new people face-to-face, then that's not something that can be arranged here unfortunately. However, finding a local group to do that in could be very rewarding for you and your family.

    Good luck. :)