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Undiagnosed 13 year old son refusing to go to school

NAS64629

Hi I am new to the forum and feeling very lost. Our son seems to be HFASD going by what we've read so far. He always seemed a bit different growing up and then made the transition to secondary school. It all changed when he was excluded from school. This happened 3 times in the space of a month. We were told this was not normal behaviour and then a teacher from the Learning Support Unit observed him. This led to referral for an ASD assessment. The waiting list is huge! Five months later I am pleased to say we have started to receive some support still no diagnosis. However our son has become increasingly withdrawn and distressed. He is refusing to go to school. All of his behaviour issues are at school with lack of concentration in class but is worst during break times and any social interaction. He has now been off school for more than a week and I really don't know how to change things. He wants to change school. The one he goes to has small class sizes of 16  but is an hour of commute away. He wants to go to a school nearer to home but the class sizes are around 30. He cannot connect with any of his peers, wants to fit in but he says all the kids are horrible to him and no one is doing anything to help. He did try and speak out but everything got worse for him. I really wanted to know if anyone on here had good strategies for going to school, experienced any of this or any help with how he deals with other kids?

Parents

  • Hello, my son is 12, he hasn’t gone to school since the transition from primary to secondary, we have tried 3 mainstream school but he hasn’t be able to go, we are also on a huge waiting list for Cheyne assessment and for his anxiety.  We have been told by a psychologist that he is on the spectrum and also he has sensory processing disorder that way he hasn’t be able to cope in secondary.

    I went to a sensory workshop yesterday and it really help me to understand why he does certain things when he walks down the street and at home. 

    we are just sitting here waiting while he is at home.

    hope you get some support 

Reply

  • Hello, my son is 12, he hasn’t gone to school since the transition from primary to secondary, we have tried 3 mainstream school but he hasn’t be able to go, we are also on a huge waiting list for Cheyne assessment and for his anxiety.  We have been told by a psychologist that he is on the spectrum and also he has sensory processing disorder that way he hasn’t be able to cope in secondary.

    I went to a sensory workshop yesterday and it really help me to understand why he does certain things when he walks down the street and at home. 

    we are just sitting here waiting while he is at home.

    hope you get some support 

Children
  • in reply to Tillie26

    Hope you get some support too.

    Update is that his current school are trying really hard. Son and I had an informal meeting with a senior member of staff and my son has agreed to return to school if support is in place. One solution is to leave each class 5 mins before the end of a lesson to avoid the crowds moving between classes. He will also be trying out lunchtime clubs where he will feel less anxious. I am relieved that he doesn't want to change school.