• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 2754 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Undiagnosed 13 year old son refusing to go to school

NAS64629

Hi I am new to the forum and feeling very lost. Our son seems to be HFASD going by what we've read so far. He always seemed a bit different growing up and then made the transition to secondary school. It all changed when he was excluded from school. This happened 3 times in the space of a month. We were told this was not normal behaviour and then a teacher from the Learning Support Unit observed him. This led to referral for an ASD assessment. The waiting list is huge! Five months later I am pleased to say we have started to receive some support still no diagnosis. However our son has become increasingly withdrawn and distressed. He is refusing to go to school. All of his behaviour issues are at school with lack of concentration in class but is worst during break times and any social interaction. He has now been off school for more than a week and I really don't know how to change things. He wants to change school. The one he goes to has small class sizes of 16  but is an hour of commute away. He wants to go to a school nearer to home but the class sizes are around 30. He cannot connect with any of his peers, wants to fit in but he says all the kids are horrible to him and no one is doing anything to help. He did try and speak out but everything got worse for him. I really wanted to know if anyone on here had good strategies for going to school, experienced any of this or any help with how he deals with other kids?

Parents

  • Hi I’m maddie, 14 years old and I have Aspergers. I was bullied and drove out of the first secondary school I went to then built enough courage to go to a different one. I would have meltdowns everyday get excluded, have detentions for 40 mins everyday after school and I felt as if no one understood me. Everyone just thought I was naughty and did not give me the right support. Hopefully this is not happening with your sons school but has he got a get out of lesson card if things get too much if not I would really recommend that and maybe a quiet place in the school that he can go to during break if he thinks he’s about to have a meltdown. Kids at the age never understand autism but please let him know he doesn’t have to fit in and do things he thinks he should be doing because everyone else is! At my school we had a nurture base where there was other like minded kids that’s understood, is there any place like that where he can mix with other children going through things he may be going through? Also is there a teacher he likes that he could go to, to give him support in the day? I hope this helped.

Reply

  • Hi I’m maddie, 14 years old and I have Aspergers. I was bullied and drove out of the first secondary school I went to then built enough courage to go to a different one. I would have meltdowns everyday get excluded, have detentions for 40 mins everyday after school and I felt as if no one understood me. Everyone just thought I was naughty and did not give me the right support. Hopefully this is not happening with your sons school but has he got a get out of lesson card if things get too much if not I would really recommend that and maybe a quiet place in the school that he can go to during break if he thinks he’s about to have a meltdown. Kids at the age never understand autism but please let him know he doesn’t have to fit in and do things he thinks he should be doing because everyone else is! At my school we had a nurture base where there was other like minded kids that’s understood, is there any place like that where he can mix with other children going through things he may be going through? Also is there a teacher he likes that he could go to, to give him support in the day? I hope this helped.

Children
  • in reply to NAS64607

    Thank you so much Maddie! His school are talking about a support group of others going through the same as him. I am waiting to hear back from them. There are teachers that he does like but hasn't been able to go them. He was able to get out of class and there were spaces he could go to but never used them. Now I just can't get him to go to this school even though they seem to be trying to help, he just doesn't see that they are trying to help. He says if he goes back it will just be the same, that no one likes him and he will be miserable. He goes to a club and wants to go to the same school as friends he has made at that club. I am worried that he tries a new school and it is worse.