Published on 12, July, 2020
I just wondered if anyone has any experience of this? My son is much more challenging to my husband than myself. He pulled his hair and spat at him yesterday. I know he absolutely would not do that to me. He doesn't do these things all the time, just when he's frustrated. It's quite upsetting and I'm not sure of the reasons. They do have a lovely bond and spend time playing together and share interests. Any ideas?
It sounds like your son is frustrated and stressed by something and is looking to lash out to try to make the anger go away - sort of burning it out - and it's likely that he wants his dad to engage in very rough play - to a level that will satisfy his need to burn. It's a bit of a dangerous journey that can get out of hand as he gets older, bigger and stronger. What hobbies does he have where he can get rid of all the excess energy? He needs to have someone drive this for him 1:1 or he wont do it - things like having a punch bag but someone interacting with him so he can really direct the aggression onto the bag - and not his dad. Other things like martial arts or wrestling. Something where he can get the measure of his own power and learn to control it safely.
He can learn to vent his frustrations in a positive way rather than getting attention for all the wrong reasons.
You didn't mention how old your son is - and is he in school? Does he have any friends and is he being bullied?