Struggling mum of undiagnosed Aspergers daughter

I am here today as I am struggling a lot myself.  I feel I have no one to talk to.  It’s not easy to say what I need to say to people who are not in my situation.  I’m scared for the future of my daughter and I love her very much but I really dislike her behaviour and the effect she is having on our family, she is breaking us. I also feel she's purposefully  pushing all the buttons to hurt me and I don’t like how I am feeling towards her at the moment, I feel like a terrible mum but all I do is try and care and fight her corner. She just treats me like dirt.  I hate the way she makes me feel, I didn’t set about to have a family to feel like this about my own child. 

Yesterday she was so bad I stayed in my bedroom all afternoon, I’ve been to the doctor as I am struggling with sleep myself now, last week I didn’t want to get in my car because I was scared I would crash it into a wall.  I really don’t like the feelings I have about her, it’s  either going well (when she’s out of her comfort zone) or just a horrendous negative situation fuelled by her nastiness to everyone around her 

I know I need to be managing this and taking control and being the strong grown up but I cannot cope with it at the minute and i need some support but don’t know where to get it ?  I really need some help.