Parenting / work balance / does it get harder ?

I'm a single mum with little to no support from the father of my children.

I've got 2 diagnosed and 1 in the process of diagnosis. I've also got a younger child who so far (thank goodness!) is displaying neurotypical traits.

I work from home but my job can be very demanding and it doesn't enable my big 3 to be my sole focus - it simply means that I don't have the worry of the cost of childcare.

As they've gotten older, I find I am struggling more. Hormones are kicking in, changes in schools are happening. The bridge between them and their neurotypical peers is broadening. I'm finding my role as parent evolving into a more demanding one and for me, trying to balance parenting and work is becoming consuming. I've worked in the care industry before as a one to one and to be honest - what I'm having to do now on top of work and normal parenting is exactly that. The constant, relentless prompting & reminding & refereeing to them all is exhausting.

But every child is unique as is every situation. Right now my youngest is 2 and hes never slept through so I'm a little groggy and pessimistic plus the nurse told me the other week that early menopause might be setting in - so, as you can imagine, I'm an absolute joy to be around at the moment! : )

Emotionally floored was an apt description my love - I'm so there with you. And it's totally OK to have those feelings.

But not every day roles out like that. There are some good days. There are days when I'm in full on viking mode and could take on the world.

And on those days, when I'm in a strong mindset, I often reflect on my strength - on the stuff I have to face on a daily and I recognise that I'm still standing and that I take each day as it comes and no matter how floored or exhausted I feel, I still manage to summon the strength from somewhere.

I completed a degree whilst working full time hours, studying full time hours, raising 3 kids alone & pregnant alone with my 4th. 

I passed that degree with Merit. I hosted my final show with my 4 week old baby strapped to me & my 3 ASD kids in tow.

I needed to get that under my belt so that I could aim higher with job prospects and be more financially stable and I think the thing that drove me the most though it all was somebody told me that I couldn't. Somebody told me that because of my childrens' conditions - I wouldn't manage.

I realised that I only needed one person to believe in me and that person WAS me. The power to face adversity, to rise from the ashes of yesterday, to face everyday head on and to reach for my dreams - I had that power.

You have that power too. If you want something enough, there is always always a way forward. If you want something more fulfilling, start looking. If your mornings are full of meltdowns - there will be a way for you to find your feet. Be it a job with a later start or a childminder for the mornings or maybe something where you can work from home or maybe nights once little one is in bed? 

I'm just spitballing here, but my point is - sometimes we do get the wind knocked out of our sails - but we are the examples to our little ones. Our children who find the world difficult & challenging every day. Show them your grit & determination. Teach them how to reach for the stars, even in the face of adversity. And never forget to prioritise yourself once in a while. To be a good parent, you need to look after yourself & be kind to yourself. Stand back & truly see (&admire) what you do my love.

You are strong.

You are human.

You got this.

Thanks so much loobylou ... your message has helped so much and I love it that you’ve reminds me about the “Viking Mode” days ! Yes ! Thanks so much you are so kind.  

Thanks so much loobylou ... your message has helped so much and I love it that you’ve reminds me about the “Viking Mode” days ! Yes ! Thanks so much you are so kind.