Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone
I really need advice as I am totally confused, heartbroken and going through turmoil about how unfair life is to my little boy. So he is in year 1 now, last year at school was with lots of up and down.
Now he has managed to make couple of friends but one friend he calls his best friend (I know that boy doesn't consider himself his BF). He was friendly and nice to my son throughout reception but and been to our house for playdates. But his mother isn't fond of this friendship. She always tries to ignore me and my son. Would talk very nicely and will go over the top with other mums and their kids s but always looks down on my son. She doesn't mind sending him over our place for playdate but that's it. I find really hard to communicate with her and feel insulted the way she talks. She would look away or completely ignore me.
If it was not about my son I would have never let anyone compromise with my self respect. But knowing how hard it is for my child to make another friend and he (being so sensitive) won't be able to forget his friend.
I don't know what to do. My son is asking as school has started to arrange for a playdate but I m dying inside knowing she would read my message and not reply.
What shall I do?
Hello and I hope you are well. I completely understand where you are coming from. I find often we have children over and that we are not reciprocated. But then I don’t know what they have going on in their lives, so I ignore it and think so long as my daughter is happy we will host again!
I completely understand the school mum issue ! The other school mums aren’t friends, although with only being at year 1 now they could become that maybe in the future? . It’s positive to keep on happy terms with the other mums for the sake of your son but as you don’t feel comfortable with this mum in particular could you instead invite another classmate to play as well so your son can branch out and maybe make a new friendship. Children like the familiarity of the same friend etc and it’s good to break the pattern (especially as his mum’s a bit of a nightmare ;) )
Could you ask the teacher who your son plays with and invite those children. Maybe organise a little Halloween party or a trip for half term? My daughter has become slightly closer with friends from out of school clubs more so than in school. I’ve always encouraged my children not to have one best friend “on a pedestal” as if the friendship breaks down it’s a complete travesty.
I’m sure you’ll get a network in place for your son, don’t worry about the situation now. Hatch a plan to branch out so he goes to activities with other children. You are doing a wonderful job looking out for your son and his needs. () big hug x
Thank you for your time and advice.
Yeah thats what keeps me going. Every time my child asks me to get the same person. I have tried to invite different kids but he doesn't enjoy with them. He won't say anything but won't be happy, would just do it for the sake of finishing it. Then I feel bad n feel I'm forcing him to be friends with someone.
Hes just started football clubs n swimming but again thing is everyone seems nice, smile n all but won't go beyond. I know why. One mum was nice in swimming for couple of weeks then she saw my son was finishing last in all strokes n was behind, taking time she all of sudden stopped chatting.
I honestly feel that parents of kids without special needs NEVER EVER will know how hard is all this n they don't even want to hear or are interested. First I thought I will explain my sons condition slowly but realised no ones even interested or has patience.
It's always the case that until something happens to someone then they become a preacher until that time behave selfish and unkind behaviour.
Thank you for listening. There is nobody I can talk to.
Xx