Secondary school

Hi :) 

I am 18 now and not a professional so can only speak from experience. I personally found secondary school extremely stressful. However I had not been diagnosed as autistic (I was diagnosed this year), meaning many of my problems were misdiagnosed as mental health issues. But this doesn’t need to be the case for your daughter! I would advise that you use the fact of being in the process of an autism diagnosis to it’s upmost. Talk to the school before she starts. There may be a head of year 7 that you can talk to about your daughter’s issues. Don’t be shy about advocating and speaking as though your daughter has already been diagnosed. Remember that you, as her mother, know her best than any teacher and that those teachers should be there to support you and your daughter in this transition. 

I don’t know what exact struggles your daughter has, but from my experience what really helped me, or would have helped me, are:

- make sure she has a quiet area to go to at break and lunchtimes.

- get in contact with whatever medical team they have there. I got a great rapport with the school nurse, which was so helpful to me and it was a great reassurance to know I could go to her when things were difficult. Having that “point of contact” with someone your daughter trusts will hopefully be reassuring to her.

- maybe see if your daughter can walk around the school before term starts so that she can start getting an idea of where everything is.

- see if she would be able to move between lessons 5 minutes before or after everyone else, so she doesn’t have to navigate crowded corridors.

- emphasises to teachers that she needs very clear instructions on homework etc

- talk to your daughter about the new things she will encounter at secondary school (how the timetable works, that she will be around older children who may behave badly, and that friendships often change with puberty) and ask about what she’s worried about so you can talk things through together to prepare her so she knows what to expect. 

My final word of advice would be that (though I don’t wish to worry you)  unfortunately teenage girls can be very snarky, which can be very distressing to autistic girls. I just could not understand when my group of friends began talking about boys and being nasty behind each other’s backs, which caused me to just completely withdraw from all friends for the last 3 years of school. So this might be something you need to help her with. 

But there’s loads of online advice about teenage girls with autism that may be more useful than me :) I wish your daughter the best of luck

Hi :) 

I am 18 now and not a professional so can only speak from experience. I personally found secondary school extremely stressful. However I had not been diagnosed as autistic (I was diagnosed this year), meaning many of my problems were misdiagnosed as mental health issues. But this doesn’t need to be the case for your daughter! I would advise that you use the fact of being in the process of an autism diagnosis to it’s upmost. Talk to the school before she starts. There may be a head of year 7 that you can talk to about your daughter’s issues. Don’t be shy about advocating and speaking as though your daughter has already been diagnosed. Remember that you, as her mother, know her best than any teacher and that those teachers should be there to support you and your daughter in this transition. 

I don’t know what exact struggles your daughter has, but from my experience what really helped me, or would have helped me, are:

- make sure she has a quiet area to go to at break and lunchtimes.

- get in contact with whatever medical team they have there. I got a great rapport with the school nurse, which was so helpful to me and it was a great reassurance to know I could go to her when things were difficult. Having that “point of contact” with someone your daughter trusts will hopefully be reassuring to her.

- maybe see if your daughter can walk around the school before term starts so that she can start getting an idea of where everything is.

- see if she would be able to move between lessons 5 minutes before or after everyone else, so she doesn’t have to navigate crowded corridors.

- emphasises to teachers that she needs very clear instructions on homework etc

- talk to your daughter about the new things she will encounter at secondary school (how the timetable works, that she will be around older children who may behave badly, and that friendships often change with puberty) and ask about what she’s worried about so you can talk things through together to prepare her so she knows what to expect. 

My final word of advice would be that (though I don’t wish to worry you)  unfortunately teenage girls can be very snarky, which can be very distressing to autistic girls. I just could not understand when my group of friends began talking about boys and being nasty behind each other’s backs, which caused me to just completely withdraw from all friends for the last 3 years of school. So this might be something you need to help her with. 

But there’s loads of online advice about teenage girls with autism that may be more useful than me :) I wish your daughter the best of luck