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Not wanting to go to school

JumpyNewall

My son is 6 years old and in Year 2 at a mainstream primary school with full time 1:1 support. He has always done fairly well academically and socially with his 1:1. Although he is marginally behind the others in his class in some areas, on the whole he is accessing the curriculum adequetly. Since starting Year 2, he has had his ups and downs, but this last week, he has decided he doesn't want to go to school at all. I think its related to the increased workload and less playtime in Year 2, as all he says repeatedly is that he wants to stay at home and play, and he doesn;t want to go to school and do his work. This week he has been inconsolable enroute to school, screaming, crying and physically heaving. I've spent at least 2 hours in the car outside school before being able to coax him inside with his 1:1. He will only play and doesn't want to go in the classroom, as he thinks that means he will have to do work. School are v supportive and will do whatever it takes to heklp him. but just wondered if anyone else had had a similar situation and could give any advice on strategies to calm him down and make him see school is not so bad. Its heatbreaking to see him so distressed. Thanks

Parents

  • hi JumpyNewall - this must be so distressing for both of you.  You cd be right that your son is finding his schoolwork more difficult now he's in Yr 2.  My son never went to mainstream, but in his early teens his school tried him in a different class for several months because they thought he cd achieve more.  He had difficulty in that class so they moved him back into his previous class.  He never objected to going to school but used to complain about the harder schoolwork.  It may all be too pressurising for him if he's trying to keep up with the others.   There may be other stressors as well.   Does he settle once he's in class? You've sd that the school want to be helpful so perhaps everyone can work up a plan so he doesn't feel so stressed.  It can be shown and explained to him at home or a neutral place.  Is there an activity which wd entice him to go to school, something he really enjoys that cd be incorporated into his day?  Strategies to calm him down and accept school as things stand may prove difficult because perhaps he does feel it's that bad.  His behaviour suggests that.   I'd check this site out for other posts on the subject + the site in general, which is packed with useful info.  I'm sure other parents who've 1st hand knowledge of your situation will have suggestions.   bw

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  • hi JumpyNewall - this must be so distressing for both of you.  You cd be right that your son is finding his schoolwork more difficult now he's in Yr 2.  My son never went to mainstream, but in his early teens his school tried him in a different class for several months because they thought he cd achieve more.  He had difficulty in that class so they moved him back into his previous class.  He never objected to going to school but used to complain about the harder schoolwork.  It may all be too pressurising for him if he's trying to keep up with the others.   There may be other stressors as well.   Does he settle once he's in class? You've sd that the school want to be helpful so perhaps everyone can work up a plan so he doesn't feel so stressed.  It can be shown and explained to him at home or a neutral place.  Is there an activity which wd entice him to go to school, something he really enjoys that cd be incorporated into his day?  Strategies to calm him down and accept school as things stand may prove difficult because perhaps he does feel it's that bad.  His behaviour suggests that.   I'd check this site out for other posts on the subject + the site in general, which is packed with useful info.  I'm sure other parents who've 1st hand knowledge of your situation will have suggestions.   bw

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