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So stressed and unhappy

NAS63430

Hi all. This is the first time posting so not really sure how much to say or what’s acceptable. 

Im on holiday with my little boy, currently under assessment and really quite behavioural due to disruption in his routine with school hols, etc. My boy is 5yrs and has a twin brother. 

Only our first day and he is on the ceiling. So stressed and sensory overload going on. Just had a massive row with other half because when my boy is hurting and says hurtful things, causes scenes and has his moments, frankly I don’t know what to do to help so my reaction is to row with OH. Obviously this doesn’t help and I’m not happy at all. In fact, I’m just sat on the balcony whilst the other three are down by the pool because I just needed some time out. I’ve just sat and cried for the past hour really. He’s not usually this overwhelmed when we travel and just gets on with things but I feel like as he gets older the behaviour becomes more significant and the gap between him and his peers ever so much more noticeable. 

Sorry to whinge, I’m not even sure what response I’m looking for, I’m just feeling a bit at the end of my tether at the moment and feel like after only 1 day I want to go home. Also worried about my relationship with OH. Just feel like he always just ignores when I try and raise the issues with my boy, like he doesn’t see anything wrong at all, then when we have these episodes he suddenly become the professional, ie: this is what we need to be doing/ should have done/ what he needs etc. All very frustrating and painful. 

Thanks if you have read this far. Xx

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My OH is very much like this and its been like getting blood out of a stone getting him to open up. We're newly married and I gave him 6 months to tackle an issue in our marriage on his terms and it didn't solve the problem so he finally agreed to book into relationship counselling. This was enough to get him to open up and I found out he wouldn't talk about his emotions as when he tried as a child he didn't feel heard or accepted, which is why he became closed off. Perhaps your husband's trying to take on the professional role as a coping mechanism to avoid opening up about how lost/out of his depth he could be feeling?

    I'm the autistic in my household and at 35 I struggle with holidays even though I put coping mechanisms in place. For example, I try and go self-catering as much as possible as I trying new foods/restaurants fill me with fear. I also become worn out by sensory overload, processing being in a new place etc so go out in a morning, come back in the afternoon to rest, then go out in the evening. If possible I don't adapt to time zone changes and still get up/go to bed and eat at the same times.

    If this holiday is causing your boy such incredible amounts of stress are they going to be the right thing for him going forward or is this a one-off due to something else that has happened? When an ex-colleague used to go on holiday she only took her NT child and left the ND one at home with his grandparents as this is what he prefered. They did day trips together instead.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My OH is very much like this and its been like getting blood out of a stone getting him to open up. We're newly married and I gave him 6 months to tackle an issue in our marriage on his terms and it didn't solve the problem so he finally agreed to book into relationship counselling. This was enough to get him to open up and I found out he wouldn't talk about his emotions as when he tried as a child he didn't feel heard or accepted, which is why he became closed off. Perhaps your husband's trying to take on the professional role as a coping mechanism to avoid opening up about how lost/out of his depth he could be feeling?

    I'm the autistic in my household and at 35 I struggle with holidays even though I put coping mechanisms in place. For example, I try and go self-catering as much as possible as I trying new foods/restaurants fill me with fear. I also become worn out by sensory overload, processing being in a new place etc so go out in a morning, come back in the afternoon to rest, then go out in the evening. If possible I don't adapt to time zone changes and still get up/go to bed and eat at the same times.

    If this holiday is causing your boy such incredible amounts of stress are they going to be the right thing for him going forward or is this a one-off due to something else that has happened? When an ex-colleague used to go on holiday she only took her NT child and left the ND one at home with his grandparents as this is what he prefered. They did day trips together instead.

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