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Other People!!

MrsP

Hope this is in the right place (newbie alert lol)

can I ask what are people's approaches to other people staring and commenting?

i am so sick of 'justifying' my ds's (6) behaviour to other people but likewise can't get my head around the idea of 'the card' (my ds is autistic blah blah) - if ds was battering people's children etc I could understand parents wanting to comment etc but only person ds hurts in a meltdown is himself (or me if he catches me by accident!) DH says to ignore it but its so hurtful seeing tuts or people just outright staring!

rightly or wrongly this is one of the aspects of ds being on the spectrum I find hardest! He couldn't give a fluff if someone commejust but I feel like saying 'I'm not a bad parent HONEST!' 

any tips?

Parents

  • hi MrsP - other people!  Could rant on forever.  Most people don't understand about autism + how it affects an individual + their family.  Autism isn't easy to understand.  Of course, everybody's an "expert" on raising children, aren't they?  So people stare or worse.  Some people make our lives more difficult.  Being stared at is unpleasant, although I would say that not everybody you see who stares are unsympathetic.  If the stare goes on and is accompanied by tuts etc, then yes, that's worse.  We look when something attracts our attention, whatever it may be.  I've never explained things to anyone when I've been in that position.  I've always ignored them.  Strangers aren't worth the effort when you're trying to help your child.  I've never carried a card.  If I'd felt the need to say anything I would have just said "he has autism".  Unless a stranger understands the condition I think it's useless informing them like that anyway.  So yes, it is hard and can be hurtful.  Unfortunately it goes with the territory.  Other people's attitudes pile on the pressure and I sometimes wish they'd wise-up or ignore us.  bw 

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  • hi MrsP - other people!  Could rant on forever.  Most people don't understand about autism + how it affects an individual + their family.  Autism isn't easy to understand.  Of course, everybody's an "expert" on raising children, aren't they?  So people stare or worse.  Some people make our lives more difficult.  Being stared at is unpleasant, although I would say that not everybody you see who stares are unsympathetic.  If the stare goes on and is accompanied by tuts etc, then yes, that's worse.  We look when something attracts our attention, whatever it may be.  I've never explained things to anyone when I've been in that position.  I've always ignored them.  Strangers aren't worth the effort when you're trying to help your child.  I've never carried a card.  If I'd felt the need to say anything I would have just said "he has autism".  Unless a stranger understands the condition I think it's useless informing them like that anyway.  So yes, it is hard and can be hurtful.  Unfortunately it goes with the territory.  Other people's attitudes pile on the pressure and I sometimes wish they'd wise-up or ignore us.  bw 

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