Can anyone relate to being married to a guy with Aspergers and feeling like his carer? Feel so lonely in our relationship and unless we do what motivates him or talk about his hobbies we literally don’t talk or spend time together. Don’t want to use this forum to moan as he really is a kind hearted guy but I just feel so unimportant, forgotten and alone.
I was going to comment on this as an Aspie a few days ago, didn't, but want to agree with what others have said here & see if I can offer anything extra.
I'm 52 and married to a lovely lady who may also be ASD (which seems to help us, though it doesn't solve all of the issues of an NT-ND relationship).
Communication is key in any marriage, and when one or both partners are ASD it's worth bearing in mind:
It can be done. I hear that you want him to step into your world. He can, but you might need to step briefly into his, take his hand, and gently lead him in. But also recognise that as he himself has aged, things that he might have been able to cope with when he was younger (socialising, parties, loud places) may be overwhelming for him now. He may be able to go with you if he understands how much it means to you, that you understand the impact on him and allow it to be time limited or give him some other means of control (e.g. "We can go home at 8.30 if it's too much" - upon which you might find that the feeling of control allows him to stay all night!).