Posted about him many times I'm sure....15 now, big lad. Got a diagnosis of Aspergers.Not sure if its related to Aspergers or just general bad teenager behaviour. Like most he doesn't listen, makes a mess, is moody and stroppy. Normal I guess. One thing is he generally believes hes so hard done by and thinks we pick on him. In all honestly, he gets away with murder.We try not to get into arguments with him. We warn him then we remove PC priveleges. But he wont take and gets VERY aggressive. He just cannot control himself. In the past, hes been violent towards me.Today, after some typical lazy behaviour that he'd been warned for, he got a 1 day ban. Then he got in my wifes face in a very threatening way. Thing is he would have been back on there by tommorow but hes made it 1000x times worse now.Hes a big lad. What do I do here? Yes understand teenagers can be a nightmare but surely being aggressive towards your mother is just a bit too far.Ultimately, I can see me calling the Police one day and getting him arrested.
How to deal?
One of the problems here may be that using his PC is how he tries to calm himself down. In the longer term it will be important to try and stop his stress levels getting so high that things tip over into abusive behaviour.
The consequences of him being taken out of your home put into some kind of secure setting could be very damaging indeed. I do hope that you manage to find the right kind of support.
For many autistic people teenage years can be very volatile and difficult. The differences between us and our peers become very obvious and the pressures at school and college can be intense.
It may well be that the PC represents a kind of lifeline, which is why he fights so hard when he is threatened with it being taken away.
As Graham has suggested sometimes medication can help in the short term while longer term changes are being made. I have found taking anti-anxiety medication and getting psychological support very helpful indeed.
I do hope you find the advice and support you and he need. It is a very difficult and painful situation for everyone. Living in this state of heightened tension is really stressful.
When I was a very difficult teenager (undiagnosed with autism) a psychotherapist friend advised my parents to ignore as much of my behaviour as possible to avoid confrontations. My mother never told me to tidy up my bedroom after that or begged me to join the family and eat proper meals - she just accepted things as they were.
Best wishes to you.
Thanks sunflower. Yes I think you're right about the PC to be honest- its all he cares about.
We don't ask much of him to be honest. Just a very basic consideration of the fact that other people use the shared facilities in the house but he treats the place like a squat. We don;t expect a lot out of him - just a basic consideration that other people live in the house too.
Because of the aspergers he gets every chance - we sit him down and explain. We give him days to sort something out (e.g. please clear up the mouldy food you left in the conservatory, please pick your clothes off the floor so thet can be washed) but he ignores us, he gets a reminder then another one. Then he gets a one day PC ban and it all kicks off.
BTW - he takes 150mg sertraline at the moment.
I know that getting police involved is the last resort. BUT, nothing is working at the moment, hes getting worse and there is the issue of the safety of the other members of the family. Hes much bigger than his mother and hes got a 5 year old little sister (who in the past hes been nasty to). I try not to confront him - hes been violent to me in the past (thrown things in my face, hit me with a water bottle in his hand etc) but me getting involved now is a bad idea so I try not to.
Hey, new here and just browsing the forums, but what you describe is almost a mirror image of the problems my son had when he was living with his mother. She called the police one evening when he got violent thinking they would section him and they ended up arresting him for domestic violence. He spent the night in a police cell cooling his heels off and I had to drive down and sit in on the interview with him in the morning.
It ended OK as no charges were pressed and he was released into my care. But it was a sobering experience for him and not something he has any wish to repeat.
Obviously your situation will be different but I'd just caution that a police section may not be their response to being called.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks. Yes I really dont want to go for that option to be honest. As you say, I dont really trust what will happen.