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nt partners of autistic/aspergers

some one

ive noticed in the few years ive researched autism/aspergers that tho there is a lot out there about familys, carers and parents of those with autism, not so much goes into the partners of adults with autism

our voice needs to be heard too and i as one of those people feel theres not a lot of options for me, i literally have to deal with it on my own

its a lot of stress and pressure to do the 'right thing' by my partner, when sometimes (a lot actually) that right thing usually means i have to just cope with and go through whatever it is, and try to come out the other side not completely mental

i do my best for my partner, and he does what he can too in his own way, but there are times i just dont know what to do, and times i cant

anyway, there you go, thats my pent up view on it for just now

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  • There's very little help for adults with autism, and I know a little bit about living with a partner with Aspergers because my ex husband has it. He wasn't diagnosed until he was in this thirties and he's still in a bit of denial. Our son is 21 and his Aspergers is more pronounced - he also has ADD and Dyspraxia unlike his father. Unfortunately I did not know my ex husband had Aspergers and I couldn't cope with him so we separated. Even if I had known I'm not sure I could have, because I think it's difficult enough supporting my son and there is conflict sometimes because his father thinks I am too protective, he probably thinks his son is only affected to the same degree he is when he clearly isn't. In fact getting anyone to understand how much support my son needs is almost impossible, especially the government! I've already ranted about that in another post. But from my experience of that relationship I learned that if you are in a relationship with someone with autism you need to be able to put them first all the time, because they find it difficult to empathise and they can't help that, so it's something you have to accept. You have to be pretty selfless, and that is tough. I've told my son that he is going to need someone pretty special for a long term relationship, and he kind of realises that I'm right but he spends all of his time wishing he didn't have autism and was like other people.

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  • There's very little help for adults with autism, and I know a little bit about living with a partner with Aspergers because my ex husband has it. He wasn't diagnosed until he was in this thirties and he's still in a bit of denial. Our son is 21 and his Aspergers is more pronounced - he also has ADD and Dyspraxia unlike his father. Unfortunately I did not know my ex husband had Aspergers and I couldn't cope with him so we separated. Even if I had known I'm not sure I could have, because I think it's difficult enough supporting my son and there is conflict sometimes because his father thinks I am too protective, he probably thinks his son is only affected to the same degree he is when he clearly isn't. In fact getting anyone to understand how much support my son needs is almost impossible, especially the government! I've already ranted about that in another post. But from my experience of that relationship I learned that if you are in a relationship with someone with autism you need to be able to put them first all the time, because they find it difficult to empathise and they can't help that, so it's something you have to accept. You have to be pretty selfless, and that is tough. I've told my son that he is going to need someone pretty special for a long term relationship, and he kind of realises that I'm right but he spends all of his time wishing he didn't have autism and was like other people.

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