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My son speaks to me in a nasty way.

IcedBaileys

Hello all.  This is my first post. 

My son has Aspergers and he is 6 1/2 years old.  My main issue with him at the moment is how he speaks to me and close friends and family. 

He seems to just snap at everything, the moment something is not quite as he wants it to be or if I ask him something, he just seems to speak in a nasty fashion.  I dont mean he swears at me, his voice is angry and he will growl. 

He is not like this at school, so it just seems to be how he is at home with me and his Dad, Grandma and Uncle and a few close friends.

I tell him to not speak like that, but I just feel over the years I have said that to him a thousand times.  I'm just not sure what action to take or how to try and make him understand that it is not nice.

It is not like he stays in a mood all day or for long, he will have his nasty moment and then be happy again, while I'm still left feeling hurt about how he was.

Any advice would be much appreciated, or even someone saying they have the same thing with there child.

I just feel so miserable right now, and if I'm honest ashamed of how he can be and how I appear to let him be, but I just don't know what to do.

Iced

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • Hello again, pleased that my post may have helped a little as it is hard in sometimes knowing what to do for the best.

    I feel that although the 'easy option' is to always give in that in turn is not maybe the right thing to do when trying to show that in life you cannot always have your own way and there is a consequence for inappropriate behaviour!  We now try hard to calmly explain to our son when he is in the 'throws' of a major tantrum that if he continues he will not be allowed to use the computer (he is totally obsessed).  Sometimes he will stop the tantrum and sometimes he will continue, in which case we will walk away until he calms down.  In the past we used to give in to him but what were we showing him ..... that he could act as he wanted and he could still do as he wanted.  We now 'stick to our guns' and after explaining that he will not be allowed to use the computer if his bad behaviour continues, if his bad behaviour does continue we do not allow him on the computer until we say ... even if it is only for a very short period of time.  

    Sometimes he screams, yells, throws things at not being allowed on the computer but other times he is quiet and says 'sorry'.  We always allow him back on the computer but not before calmly explaining that the reason he was not allowed was because of his bad behaviour and the actions of his behaviour, i.e. screaming, throwing things, which made us unhappy.

    Every day is a challenge and some days are very difficult and upsetting but there is never a day when I do not look at our son and feel proud, after all he is special!

     

     

     

Reply

  • Hello again, pleased that my post may have helped a little as it is hard in sometimes knowing what to do for the best.

    I feel that although the 'easy option' is to always give in that in turn is not maybe the right thing to do when trying to show that in life you cannot always have your own way and there is a consequence for inappropriate behaviour!  We now try hard to calmly explain to our son when he is in the 'throws' of a major tantrum that if he continues he will not be allowed to use the computer (he is totally obsessed).  Sometimes he will stop the tantrum and sometimes he will continue, in which case we will walk away until he calms down.  In the past we used to give in to him but what were we showing him ..... that he could act as he wanted and he could still do as he wanted.  We now 'stick to our guns' and after explaining that he will not be allowed to use the computer if his bad behaviour continues, if his bad behaviour does continue we do not allow him on the computer until we say ... even if it is only for a very short period of time.  

    Sometimes he screams, yells, throws things at not being allowed on the computer but other times he is quiet and says 'sorry'.  We always allow him back on the computer but not before calmly explaining that the reason he was not allowed was because of his bad behaviour and the actions of his behaviour, i.e. screaming, throwing things, which made us unhappy.

    Every day is a challenge and some days are very difficult and upsetting but there is never a day when I do not look at our son and feel proud, after all he is special!

     

     

     

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