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My son speaks to me in a nasty way.

IcedBaileys

Hello all.  This is my first post. 

My son has Aspergers and he is 6 1/2 years old.  My main issue with him at the moment is how he speaks to me and close friends and family. 

He seems to just snap at everything, the moment something is not quite as he wants it to be or if I ask him something, he just seems to speak in a nasty fashion.  I dont mean he swears at me, his voice is angry and he will growl. 

He is not like this at school, so it just seems to be how he is at home with me and his Dad, Grandma and Uncle and a few close friends.

I tell him to not speak like that, but I just feel over the years I have said that to him a thousand times.  I'm just not sure what action to take or how to try and make him understand that it is not nice.

It is not like he stays in a mood all day or for long, he will have his nasty moment and then be happy again, while I'm still left feeling hurt about how he was.

Any advice would be much appreciated, or even someone saying they have the same thing with there child.

I just feel so miserable right now, and if I'm honest ashamed of how he can be and how I appear to let him be, but I just don't know what to do.

Iced

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • Hello, I have just registered and have a 7 year old son with Aspergers.  You honestly sound just like me in that our son, although loving most of the time, can also become verbally rude and has been known to say some very hurtful things to his father and I.

    We have numerous worries and have probably been too soft and easy going, having the attitude that sometimes it is just easier to 'give in' whilst also not being sure on the fine line between plain bad behaviour and, as we call it, 'the Asperger's showing itself'.  It is difficult to distinguish between the two and, as you rightly say, life for them socially is difficult and hard and we also have tried not to make it any harder!

    Over time we have realised that the best way of dealing with our son's tantrums is to walk away, let him calm down in his own time and then try to explain why his behaviour was not acceptable and can only hope that he has understood.

    It is difficult and frustrating at times but we know that if he is told off it is only for the right reasons just as he is praised for the right reasons. 

    Sometimes I feel like I must be the worst mother in the world, then I remember that I am doing my very best, which is all anyone can do. 

        

Reply

  • Hello, I have just registered and have a 7 year old son with Aspergers.  You honestly sound just like me in that our son, although loving most of the time, can also become verbally rude and has been known to say some very hurtful things to his father and I.

    We have numerous worries and have probably been too soft and easy going, having the attitude that sometimes it is just easier to 'give in' whilst also not being sure on the fine line between plain bad behaviour and, as we call it, 'the Asperger's showing itself'.  It is difficult to distinguish between the two and, as you rightly say, life for them socially is difficult and hard and we also have tried not to make it any harder!

    Over time we have realised that the best way of dealing with our son's tantrums is to walk away, let him calm down in his own time and then try to explain why his behaviour was not acceptable and can only hope that he has understood.

    It is difficult and frustrating at times but we know that if he is told off it is only for the right reasons just as he is praised for the right reasons. 

    Sometimes I feel like I must be the worst mother in the world, then I remember that I am doing my very best, which is all anyone can do. 

        

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