Bored 17 year old

My son is 17 and Is the most beautiful kindest soul you would ever meet. As he's getting older he's losing all interest in mixing with the outside world, this upsets me as he is a very sociable person but struggles with groups and anxieties. He has no friends and sits in every weekend with me and his Dad, I see people he's grew up with and treasured as friends going out and enjoying themselves but never think to ask him out or get in touch even though we have tried to get in touch with them . I can see he's getting lower and lower in mood and it worries me for his future, tried the local support group but it wasn't for him ... anyone got any ideas on how to get him out of his room x 

  • My thinking is, if he's said he's bored, then remind him it's his responsibility to occupy himself not anybody else's!  But also, encourage him to pursue his interests.  Or if he doesn't have any, to try and find some.  The reason interests are so important is that with ASD it's often easier to start socialising with people who you share interests with.

  • That's a very good point.

  • Has he said to you he's bored, or is that based on your observation?

  • Hi there so sorry to hear things are difficult for your son. It is really hard to see a child struggling like this. At your son's age I made a strong friendship with an older friend of my mum's - we went to galleries and the theatre together. I could relate to her much more easily than I could to people of my own age. I wonder if there are any adults in your social circle your son gets on with? 

    It might be worth encouraging your son to join this forum. Age, gender and social background are irrelevant here - we connect and discuss things in ways that work for us. Being in this online community can spark real life activities - the Virtual Juke Box thread reminded me how much I like folk music, so I'm going to check out my local folk club. 

    if your son likes animals then volunteering at an animal shelter might be a good way to meet people without too much social pressure. Situations like this where the attention is on the activity rather than social interaction work best for many autistic people. 

    I do hope you find something that enables him to enjoy socialising again. x