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ever feel like just running away..

NAS49545

do you ever just look at your child and think why you?! I can’t stop crying whenever I look at her & it’s killing me I just feel so sorry for her I’m anxious about how she will be when she’s growing up and how other kids will be with her as they can be so cruel. Im not in denial by any means as I always had that mothers instinct that there was something but now more and more people are noticing (which is fine) but it’s when they say ‘awww that’s a shame’ it sets me off. Doesn’t help that her father is ignoring everything that’s been told he just thinks she’s slower.. so I need to watch what I say and respect his feelings, along with coming to terms with it all myself - debating whether I should move her to a ESN Nursery or keep her where she is becaue she is settled ... I feel like I’m just not far off exploding!! I’m so sorry for the long rant..

Parents

  • It's easy for me to say this as I am Autistic and don't have children, so I can't say I can relate to your situation as such, but I can imagine it is a lot to take in.  However, be thankful that your daughter is healthy and happy.  We are not the easiest to raise at times - my mother reminds me of that!  But this whole point scoring between parents when they compare their children is madness to me.  The children are the ones left suffering for it.  Does it really matter that people notice she acts differently at times?  She is alive and well and that in itself should be celebrated.  If other parents feel the need to draw attention to it or make negative or pitying suggestions, then they are only doing it to try and make themselves feel better.  Everyone has dramas and crises behind closed doors - the perfect family is anything but.

    You will probably find that your partner is trying to take it all in and come to terms with it in his own time.  It might be worth getting an ASD specialist to try and explain ASD to your partner and see if he can understand how your daughter views and interacts with the world.

  • in reply to Starbuck

    Thank you for your reply and I truly am sorry if I offended you with my choice of words, I’m good at that thinking before I speak! My daughter is the most amazing wee girl I have ever met & I love her more than I thought was possible lol it’s just a big worry I have how other kids will be but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I’m very open in discussing the reason she is the way she is but it’s the reply I get as if it’s really such a bad thing when I know it isnt atal.. before I was faced with this i was very ignorant to autism I really had no clue what it was etc. He is an ex partner And believe it or not this is the reason why, because its all my Fault he’s been lashing out which is totally unacceptable. So it’s juat me and my daughter at home and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • in reply to NAS49545

    You didn't offend me, so not to worry - it's more that autism is seen as such a tragedy, when in a lot of cases I think we make it a tragedy.  Being autistic can be very lonely and isolating at times, so it is always important you have someone to turn to and support you and having a great supportive mum is normally a good place to start.  There is a lot of misconceptions surrounding autism, so you will get a whole mix bag of responses - just ask the adults on this forum!  That's not to say that things won't change for the better in the long run though.

    As for kids - they are cruel, not getting away from that one, but as you have already said, it is pointless worrying about something until it is a real problem rather than something you are just anticipating.  Again, if your daughter knows you are always there to support her, you will make it through thick and thin.

    Your ex needs space and probably time, but that doesn't excuse him from his role as a parent and support network.

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  • in reply to NAS49545

    You didn't offend me, so not to worry - it's more that autism is seen as such a tragedy, when in a lot of cases I think we make it a tragedy.  Being autistic can be very lonely and isolating at times, so it is always important you have someone to turn to and support you and having a great supportive mum is normally a good place to start.  There is a lot of misconceptions surrounding autism, so you will get a whole mix bag of responses - just ask the adults on this forum!  That's not to say that things won't change for the better in the long run though.

    As for kids - they are cruel, not getting away from that one, but as you have already said, it is pointless worrying about something until it is a real problem rather than something you are just anticipating.  Again, if your daughter knows you are always there to support her, you will make it through thick and thin.

    Your ex needs space and probably time, but that doesn't excuse him from his role as a parent and support network.

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