OCD/Apergers Teen - Squirted 5 year old sister with anti-bac spray

Not even sure where to start with this one....

Found out today hes been squirting his 5 year old sister with disinfectant spray when she comes out of the toilet. Really don't know what to say or what to do.

She said to us today "X squirted bleach on me because I wasn't clean". Having an antibac spray is one of his things - he likes to spray the toilet to ensure its clean. But if hes going to misuse it then, might stress him a lot, but surely we've got to take it away from him?

Obviously, apart from the possible harmful effect of spraying this on her (after all its not meant to go on people), its the fact that he now projects a lot onto others. Hes like a typical teenager - filthy dirty as is his bedroom etc but he seems to focus on others in the family. Hes done a lot of things to the detriment of others in the family recently.

I dread to think of what will happen if she goes to school and tells one of her teachers. The social will be around in a flash!

Hes been seeing CAMHS for over a year. Complete waste of time they are. Also he pretty much refuses to engage and I dont think has made ANY effort at all to help himself or even try anything the CAMHS people have suggested.

At wits end now. Any suggestions?

  • It depends on whether the behaviour is a compulsion/obsession or a misinterpretation of reality. 

  • This is a good idea but not always helpful. I have OCD and a third year student paramedic - a very messy job at times.

    (everyone is different but...)

    Obsessive compulsive disorder often persuades the person to carry out compulsions based on (often irrational) obsessive thoughts/theories/feelings. A lot of people with OCD are aware that what they are doing is illogical however still feel willed to carry out the compulsion. Therefore, showing them facts/evidence to suggest that what they are doing is unnecessary can often make little to no difference.

    For example one of my compulsions is checking the door is locked multiple times. I am aware the door locked the first time and me shaking the door handle to check it's locked hundreds of times doesn't change how locked the door was the first time I checked it. But it feeds my obsessive compulsion and eases my anxiety (OCD is a type of anxiety disorder) so I continue to do it.

    Happy to answer any questions or explain further. 

  • Oh this is the BEST advice. You could buy a microscope and explore healthy bacteria and how it can contain the bad stuff without the need for anything extra. LOVE this.

  • Perhaps telling your son that he contains more bacteria than human cells, and that this is normal and healthy, might help? Also that if he is not exposed to bacteria he could develop potentially damaging allergies. Autistic people like facts. Other approaches, replace the spray with wipes, no more spraying then.

  • I make my own with hydrogen peroxide and essential oils: tea tree oil, lavender and eucalyptus. You could dilute the essential oils in water, tbh. Then so long as he doesn't get them in her eyes, he can do it all day without there being risk of of too many toxic chemicals. I always try to go with the eccentricities and simply ensure the elements being engaged with are healthy. 

  • Yes definitely. Hes been diagnosed as OCD and gets treatment for it. Like I said he won't engage though.

    Thanks - good idea. BUT unfortunately, it wouild only move the problem somewhere else I'm afraid. This week the spray next week it'll be something else. Hes done a LOT of things in the last year which have causes issues for others.

    Its as if he decides something needs to be done and everyone else has to face the consequences. In the past, apart from this we've had all sorts with his little sister inc violence. He almost got arrested or in deep trouble for misuing a toilet on a plane (blocked it due to misuse - it was out for the whole flight). In fact, he constantly misuses toilets when hes out so no-one else can use them (involves LOTS of spray again, toilet roll spread on floor, toliet roll blocking toilet).

    So yes hes got issues with bith OCD and aspergers but we've got to draw a line somewhere surely? To be honest, the fact that hes physically restrained his little sister in order to fulfilll one his issues is it for me.

  • Sounds like he's focused on hygiene (of others), perhaps since his body started to change and he noticed difference in himself and others.

    I don't suppose something simple like swapping the spray you buy for home made, none toxic solution would work? Pour out shop bought, fill with home made liquid? You could try to trick him into thinking its new brand of something if that's something that would help. 

    Or you could try to swap the spray for air drying hand gel? Perhaps try to convince him that these are somehow better than a spray?