Published on 12, July, 2020
We are really struggling with the ongoing situation with our adult son (23), in which he seems so withdrawn from everything that he is very hard to reach, has no friends or contacts, no outside interests, and spends most of his time online, alone in his room.
He refuses all offers of support or help, especially local NHS services which have failed to help in the past, and, since he has capacity and is making autonomous decisions in these matters, it seems there is little we can do but support him. Is there any help we can access, private, NHS or in the voluntary sector that would give us more idea on how to handle things for the best? We've had counselling, also talked to various CPNs and medics over the years (when our son was actually willing to involve them) but none of this actually led to anything. It felt very much as though these professionals could only empathise with us and express their hope that our son would gain more "insight" or start to engage more, whilst not giving us any idea as to how to encourage this process. Would a coach with some expertise in Asperger's be of any more help? To me it feels as though empathy and the expressions of hope merely grate because we what we actually need is specific, tailored advice and guidance.
Thanks Emma. Will give it some thought. It's really difficult because the issue is that he will not access anything for himself. There are issues around low mood, lack of hygiene, extreme withdrawal and lack of motivation for anything other than screen time. So it would need to be more about helping us to help him rather than explaining options to him - I know for sure that they won't be taken up. At the same time, we've been living like this for a very long time and it's taking its toll. We can't continue like this.
Support does dry up a lot when you are talking about adults rather than children or adolescents. I believe he is still of an age for Connexions for the next two years due to having a disability/SEN; finding some work or volunteering might be good for him when it comes to motivation/social interaction/self esteem/establishing a secure routine. It was for me, anyway.The NAS also has a helpline https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx which may well be worth calling for additional advice.Good luck!