Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is six, we recently got diagnosis of him being on the mild end of the spectrum - for us i am so glad of the relief. At the moment he doesn't need help at school, as he is academically advance compared to his peers, however in a few years he may need help with the social side of life.
Both sets of grandparents have completely rebuffed what has been reported, and my sister in law has said the report is just any six year old.
Thing is he is our only son, we chose not to have another as we found he was more demanding, he constantly counted from before the age of two, his counting was sometimes the only way to calm him down or get him to follow a task.
He doesn't role pay or play a lot with toys, he reads and writes the majority of the time.
I can't believe that they aren't supporting us, all i have done is the best for my son and to get him help he might need. My husband is with me on this, and says that they are not with our son for days like we are.
I like to add one set of grandparents live in another county to us, and the other set can't have him stay at theirs has he takes a long time to settle for bed and then is up at 5am!
Emma said:Hopefully with time and education your son's grandparents will come around. Luckily for your son he does seem to have very supportive and understanding parents and that's the most important thing.
Totally....well said Emma.
Hi Flamingo, My dad's brother was the same when I was diagnosed. He also reacted quite angrily/aggressively when my dad suggested their mother might be autistic too when (with the benefit of the information we gained during my diagnostic process) it became blatant to us that she was even more obviously autistic than me! For my dad it explained so much about his childhood and the way his family worked so differently to other families when they were children and he wanted to share that new level of understanding, but my uncle just didn't want to hear it. Either he saw it as an insult towards her or couldn't cope with the idea that it was something genetic in his family (which it is, of course; god forbid he ends up with an autistic grandchild for the grandchild's sake).
I'll never know which it was. I was never very close to him and my family doesn't talk to him now for unrelated reasons, so "whatever" at the end of the day. It must be so much harder when it's your own parents who don't want to hear. Some people, many people, do have misconceptions about autism and see it as some terrible fate-worse-than-death thing, which isn't helped by media and even the likes of certain 'charities' presenting it as such in their advertising to raise money (looking at Autism $peaks).The reality is that an autistic brain can be as much a gift as a challenge (I'm not talking about savantism which is a LOT rarer than TV would have you believe, but there are many positive personality/intellectual qualities that show up with regularity in autistic people). Many of us, myself included, would refuse a 'cure' if it did exist, because autism's just a part of who we are; many of the things about myself I am personally proud of are, I feel, intrinsically linked to being autistic. But that's something people without prior closeness with actual autistic people find very difficult to comprehend, because it's not the side of autism they have been exposed to from the moment they found out it exists.This is a good book to read, available as a free PDF; http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/files/5314/4595/7798/Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf maybe you could get your family to read a bit of it?Hopefully with time and education your son's grandparents will come around. Luckily for your son he does seem to have very supportive and understanding parents and that's the most important thing.
Unfortunately, some people simply can't accept it in their own family - like it's a taint in the blood, or something. It's very sad and frustrating. I was diagnosed as an adult. My own brother has refused to accept it, or to discuss it. I brought up the subject of Chris Packham, thinking to make an appeal in some way to his better nature. His response? 'I've never liked Chris Packham.'
It makes me wonder what he would have done if I'd been diagnosed with a physical illness, like diabetes or arthritis. Denied that, too?
Do you believe that they understand autism at all? Or just have preconceived ideas?
It may be that they have negative preconceptions about ASC or have just gone ostrich and in denial that their grandson is anything but “perfect”. Maybe they don’t know how to help or what they should do. Maybe they can’t see that you’re struggling.
What autism is, how it presents itself and what to expect are all big things and can totally recognise your desire for those to who love him to best understand him so that he can be best supported and thus have the best opportunity to thrive
This might help. https://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/a_grandparents_guide_to_autism.pdf
They have just disregarded what my husband and I believe and what a medical professional has reported. I would like to them to be human and ask if we are doing okay, and what the next steps are.
Flamingo83 said:I can't believe that they aren't supporting us,
Hi Flamingo
what support are you looking for?