• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 2103 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Upcoming 18th for Autistic

NAS38671

Hello..  we have an 18th birthday fast approaching for a Autistic boy, issue is when you ask him what he wants for Birthday he says Thomas the Tank engine.  I feel as he will be 18 buying him Thomas gifts won’t be helping.   He already has loads of Thomas things.  Other things on his birthday list are toys aimed  at 7 years old.  Advice would very much be appreciated 

Parents

  • I will start by saying that to be honest, you can't stop him liking what he likes. Liking something aimed at younger people isn't hurting him or the people around him, so what exactly are you trying to 'help', or avoid 'not helping', in this scenario?
    If he's not bothered by whether he's the target demographic for things you can't force him into being so, and attempting to do so won't make anyone happy (you'll fail, he'll be disappointed at not getting what he wants for his birthday or even feel hurt by the attempt if he reads it as "people he cares about are ashamed of his interests").

    If you feel uncomfortable getting him something aimed at children, why not ask if he would like you to take him on an actual steam train? Some heritage railways even have Thomas the Tank Engine themed days where they use the trains with the faces! http://www.dayoutwiththomas.co.uk/locations/ I would ask in advance if they can make accommodations for any sensory needs he might have though- ear defenders on standby and all that! 

    Something like that is related to his interests, a 'big' present worthy of a landmark birthday and (I would guess) wouldn't cause you as much cognitive dissonance to purchase as a toy. 

Reply

  • I will start by saying that to be honest, you can't stop him liking what he likes. Liking something aimed at younger people isn't hurting him or the people around him, so what exactly are you trying to 'help', or avoid 'not helping', in this scenario?
    If he's not bothered by whether he's the target demographic for things you can't force him into being so, and attempting to do so won't make anyone happy (you'll fail, he'll be disappointed at not getting what he wants for his birthday or even feel hurt by the attempt if he reads it as "people he cares about are ashamed of his interests").

    If you feel uncomfortable getting him something aimed at children, why not ask if he would like you to take him on an actual steam train? Some heritage railways even have Thomas the Tank Engine themed days where they use the trains with the faces! http://www.dayoutwiththomas.co.uk/locations/ I would ask in advance if they can make accommodations for any sensory needs he might have though- ear defenders on standby and all that! 

    Something like that is related to his interests, a 'big' present worthy of a landmark birthday and (I would guess) wouldn't cause you as much cognitive dissonance to purchase as a toy. 

Children
No Data