Help with meltdowns

If I can pick up on the issue of trying to analyse triggers, be mindful that this is sensory overload. A trigger proximal to the event might be very slight "the straw that broke the camel's back" (useless metaphor in a modern UK context).

What you may need to examine is the cumulative pattern of triggering factors. In terms of immediate environment, sound and smell can involve things you cannot hear, eg the flicker of strip lights, the smell of a particular deoderant or perfume, or even household soap might be much stronger and very different from how you perceive it.

However the causality may be hours or even days earlier. People on the spectrum may perceive sleights that were not intended, or misunderstand something said, and it will go round and round in their heads as they endeavour to resolve what is upsetting them. Things you might say then quickly forget you said may still be cropping up in his thoughts days or weeks later. He will remember sharply and pictorially incidents that hurt that will keep recurring in dreams and awake.

In part this arises because the difficulties we have with social comprehension means we have to analyse much more closely. That predisposes us to be overly analytical. Many people are inclined towards spiralling anxiety where negative things we hear or imagine reinforce negative feelings.

The meltdown reactions therefore can reflect pain he cannot communicate to you in any other way, that you might not believe could arise. It might be worry about things that happened hours or days ago that still play on his mind. It might be due to environmental distractions you are not affected by.

Added to this is the bottleneck or bandwidth effect. A child's ability to handle all the information coming at him/her has to be handled over a narrower capacity to process this information so it piles up.

Spotting triggers therefore may not be helpful. Trying to find out what causes distress long term and helping your child unravel this might ease the meltdown propensity, but don't force eye contact or personal proximity if that could be a trigger.

I mentioned household goods smelling different. I was curious about five years before I was diagnosed I took some lemon scented washing up liquid back to a shop because it smelled to my senses disgustingly of vomit. I'd asked other people beforehand if they agreed but they all smellt lemon-fresh. Looking back with hindsight I suspect that's AS sensitivity going funny. I do find lots of household products smell very odd to me.

If I can pick up on the issue of trying to analyse triggers, be mindful that this is sensory overload. A trigger proximal to the event might be very slight "the straw that broke the camel's back" (useless metaphor in a modern UK context).

What you may need to examine is the cumulative pattern of triggering factors. In terms of immediate environment, sound and smell can involve things you cannot hear, eg the flicker of strip lights, the smell of a particular deoderant or perfume, or even household soap might be much stronger and very different from how you perceive it.

However the causality may be hours or even days earlier. People on the spectrum may perceive sleights that were not intended, or misunderstand something said, and it will go round and round in their heads as they endeavour to resolve what is upsetting them. Things you might say then quickly forget you said may still be cropping up in his thoughts days or weeks later. He will remember sharply and pictorially incidents that hurt that will keep recurring in dreams and awake.

In part this arises because the difficulties we have with social comprehension means we have to analyse much more closely. That predisposes us to be overly analytical. Many people are inclined towards spiralling anxiety where negative things we hear or imagine reinforce negative feelings.

The meltdown reactions therefore can reflect pain he cannot communicate to you in any other way, that you might not believe could arise. It might be worry about things that happened hours or days ago that still play on his mind. It might be due to environmental distractions you are not affected by.

Added to this is the bottleneck or bandwidth effect. A child's ability to handle all the information coming at him/her has to be handled over a narrower capacity to process this information so it piles up.

Spotting triggers therefore may not be helpful. Trying to find out what causes distress long term and helping your child unravel this might ease the meltdown propensity, but don't force eye contact or personal proximity if that could be a trigger.

I mentioned household goods smelling different. I was curious about five years before I was diagnosed I took some lemon scented washing up liquid back to a shop because it smelled to my senses disgustingly of vomit. I'd asked other people beforehand if they agreed but they all smellt lemon-fresh. Looking back with hindsight I suspect that's AS sensitivity going funny. I do find lots of household products smell very odd to me.