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i can't even look at my son :(

SarahR

hi all

 

i haven't been here for a while, and have been coping in general with the day to day family life. but it's all gone wrong and i don't really know what to do next to fix it...

on monday, i was trying to have a joke with my 12 year old, who has been disgnosed with HFA/ possibly to be changed to aspergers. i can joke with him sometimes, and he gets it and goes along with it, but i clearly mis-read the signals on Monday. he just jumped up - flew at me calling me a b**** and did his usual 'flight'. i went after him and got him to sit and calm down after some tears and more declarations of ' i hate you and don't want to be near you'. i asked him what that was all about, and he just went off on one about hating me, i nag him and annoy him (before school, after school and at the weekedns were his words) all the time.

we spoke and explained that he wasn't to swear at me like that, and apologised that i upset him and i didn't mean to. it was afterwards that i fell apart in tears.....i don't know what to do, i'm scared of asking him to do anything incase i'm nagging', i don't want to make conversation because i feel he doesn't want me to, so i'm feeling so lost. i daren't even look at him in case it annoys him

i would really love some advice - i know a lot of the behaviour is 'normal' for a child his age, but i can't discipline him in the way i would if he didnt have ASD. i tried explaining that the things he said are hurtful, but he just shrugged. then an hour later told me he was going to meet a friend the next day, as if nothing had happened.

i'm just baffled as to what to do next :(

 

 

Parents

  • Hi sarah, I know how you feel! My daughter tells me she hates me several time each day, however when she is distress it's me who she will often turn too. She gets more frustrated than most of her peers and I'm someone 'safe' to vent off to, in a way it's my job but it isn't nice to be on the receiving end. When my friends complain that their children shout at them occasionally I have to smile to myself, if only they knew. My daughter needs some space when she gets home from school and I have learn't, the hard way, not to bombard her with questions about her day. It's not always easy but she's the most interesting person to be around! Keep telling him you love him, and try not to take things too personally. Hope that helps, take care.

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  • Hi sarah, I know how you feel! My daughter tells me she hates me several time each day, however when she is distress it's me who she will often turn too. She gets more frustrated than most of her peers and I'm someone 'safe' to vent off to, in a way it's my job but it isn't nice to be on the receiving end. When my friends complain that their children shout at them occasionally I have to smile to myself, if only they knew. My daughter needs some space when she gets home from school and I have learn't, the hard way, not to bombard her with questions about her day. It's not always easy but she's the most interesting person to be around! Keep telling him you love him, and try not to take things too personally. Hope that helps, take care.

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