Independent Schooling

Hi, my 12 year old, Year 8 son, a recently diagnosed Aspie, doesn't, and never has, wanted to go to school.  All through primary years I was told he was fine once I had gone and that it was behavioural problems.  We sought assessment through CAMHS and after five years got the diagnosis last October.  He is at an independent school, who do not have any other ASD pupils (?).  Had we had an earlier diagnosis we probably wouldn't have sent him to this school, however, he is there (well, sometimes).

My point at the moment is, I'm worn out, depressed, sad, feel totally useless to the rest of the family, have no life of my own, and feel of very little use to anyone, let alone him.

Everyone said once we knew then there would be lots of support and help and it would all get easier, but I don't see it.  My hubby and I are on the Autism Parent Training course at the mo, run by the IDS and maybe this has had a huge dawning effect of me, "he's not like the children of the other parents on the course", but he is!.  I don't know any other aspies, I just still feel really alone.

The lady from IDS on the course has said she would come and visit us and maybe talk about going into school (which they shouldn't really do because Independents don't buy into the County IDS service) I'm so frustrated!  We pay our taxes and NI and yet everything has to be so "cloak and dagger".  School say they are willing to help but ask me what I want them to do, and I really don't know, I thought they were the professionals  Son is very bright, not easily motivated, but can achieve A and B grades without being there half the time, so he doesn't need extra tuition.  He's always been very good in school, the model student, all the teachers love him, wish they saw more of him.  The problem is when he gets up in the morning, I don't know whether he's willing to go or not.  I'm done with the physical fight to get him there, I don't have the energy to go through all that again, and probably couldn't anyway as he is as big as me now!

Feel like I've waffled, but had a bad day!

P.S.  I really don't want him to change schools, it might just carry on, and better the devil you know!

Bye for now.

 

 

Parents
  • Hi Frankie,

    So nice to know someone made the same decision for the same reason.  I was worried no-one would reply!  A move to the local State school just seems madness, twice as many children, much larger class sizes etc.

    As you say, Independent Schools need to redress this balance, there are statistically more ASD children and the numbers are increasing.  It would be in the schools interest to support these children, as you say.

    I hadn't even thought about contacting Social Services, will look into it. 

    What sort of things have your school put into place for your son?  I'm at a loss to know what changes can be made to help.

    Thanks again,

    Annie

Reply
  • Hi Frankie,

    So nice to know someone made the same decision for the same reason.  I was worried no-one would reply!  A move to the local State school just seems madness, twice as many children, much larger class sizes etc.

    As you say, Independent Schools need to redress this balance, there are statistically more ASD children and the numbers are increasing.  It would be in the schools interest to support these children, as you say.

    I hadn't even thought about contacting Social Services, will look into it. 

    What sort of things have your school put into place for your son?  I'm at a loss to know what changes can be made to help.

    Thanks again,

    Annie

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