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At the End of My Tether

Fuchsia

My 15 year old daughter has struggled throughout secondary school but the last year has been a nightmare.  She got to the point where she could not tolerate being in class due to anxiety and sensory overload. She went from going to school fulltime to being on a part time timetable and is now only going into school for 2.5 hours a day which she is spending in learning support.  However, she is not being taught - she sometimes is given some worksheets by a teacher but often she is only doing work we haven given her.  My husband and I are teaching her as best we are able for her June GCSE modules.  The problem is she just can't focus to take much in at the moment.  Had a meeting last week with the SENCO, Autism Advisory Service and CAMHS.  They talked about applying for exceptional needs funding to provide teaching for her in Learning Support for Year 11.  We have just heard this has been refused.  I really don't think the school are going to be able to fund one to one teaching for her, so what is the point of her being there.  The Autism Advisory lady says it is important she keeps going to school as if she doesn't she will just be stuck at home and it will be difficult to get her back out again.  The SENCO is helpful and on our side but I think she is totally out of her depth.  Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. 

Parents

  • I agree.  You are your child's best expert and the person who knows her best, besides herself.  I think the advice to talk to her about it and see how she feels is good.

    I suspect that a big challenge for you is your fear of being isolated with your daughter at home.  But remember, for her it would probably be a less isolating experience than being at school, where she's constantly reminded that she doesn't fit in.

    I sympathise with your anxieties, but worrying is a huge waste of your energy.  By loving and accepting your daughter as she is, away from other people's judgments, you can focus on building a better relationship with her and helping her to learn to relate better to others, which is ultimately the most valuable gift you can give her - far more than any number of GCSE passes.

    There are other home-school families out there, many with "different" children, who are probably more ready to accept your daughter and offer her friendship than those who are firmly attached to more conventional modes of learning.

    I wish you strength.

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  • I agree.  You are your child's best expert and the person who knows her best, besides herself.  I think the advice to talk to her about it and see how she feels is good.

    I suspect that a big challenge for you is your fear of being isolated with your daughter at home.  But remember, for her it would probably be a less isolating experience than being at school, where she's constantly reminded that she doesn't fit in.

    I sympathise with your anxieties, but worrying is a huge waste of your energy.  By loving and accepting your daughter as she is, away from other people's judgments, you can focus on building a better relationship with her and helping her to learn to relate better to others, which is ultimately the most valuable gift you can give her - far more than any number of GCSE passes.

    There are other home-school families out there, many with "different" children, who are probably more ready to accept your daughter and offer her friendship than those who are firmly attached to more conventional modes of learning.

    I wish you strength.

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