Father (ex-husband) in denial

Hi Everyone,

I suspected for many years that my son was on the spectrum, my now ex-husband always told me i was wrong and that he 'was just a boy'

5 years ago my son was referred to a community paediatrician because he was showing extreme low self esteem and had told me he wanted to kill himself, he was 6 years old. i was told that although my son showed signs of autism and ADHD he didn't fulfill the criteria and therefore had neither, as such i was not offered any additional support and refused a referal to CAMHS as they thought he was unsuitable,  my ex found this highly amusing at the time.

That was the first i had heard of autism, so i started to research, the more i researched the more i believed in my own mind that my son was on the spectrum, but because i had been told by the paediatrician he was not i just adopted the coping strategies and soldiered on, my then husband refused to work with me and eventually we separated because things were difficult enough, i just couldn't stand him working against me all the time.

Last year things came to a head with my son, now 11, school was bad, his behaviour was difficult and my strategies no longer seemed to be working, so i went back to my GP and asked for my son to be specifically assessed for ASD, I saw the same paediatrician, who had oviously read her previous notes, so I didn't think i would get anywhere, however i think she was shocked by how my son presented and said his problems were 'very complex', the school appointed an education pschologist on her recommendation, my CAMHS referral came through fairly quickly, and straight away the psychiatrist could see traits in my son, within one hour because to me and her it was obvious she confirmed that he was on the spectrum.

When i told my ex that his son had ASD he laughed and said 'whatever', 'i suppose you were with him', 'what medication are they giving him' as if he doesn't believe or want to believe me, has anyone else had a similar reaction, how did you deal with it?

 

 

 

Parents
  • a bit of an update, my son has now been statemented and is attending a special school, something which his dad was very much opposed to, however after my son being unable to attend school through anxiety and becoming increasing withdrawn for the past year he has attended 2 full weeks, full time and no longer spends all day and night hidden in his room, his dad now accepts what I have done was the right thing and is slowly accepting his sons condition even if he doesn't admit it to me. Support your child and trust your instincts, do what you feel is right and in the end actions speak louder than words.

Reply
  • a bit of an update, my son has now been statemented and is attending a special school, something which his dad was very much opposed to, however after my son being unable to attend school through anxiety and becoming increasing withdrawn for the past year he has attended 2 full weeks, full time and no longer spends all day and night hidden in his room, his dad now accepts what I have done was the right thing and is slowly accepting his sons condition even if he doesn't admit it to me. Support your child and trust your instincts, do what you feel is right and in the end actions speak louder than words.

Children
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