Father (ex-husband) in denial

Hi Everyone,

I suspected for many years that my son was on the spectrum, my now ex-husband always told me i was wrong and that he 'was just a boy'

5 years ago my son was referred to a community paediatrician because he was showing extreme low self esteem and had told me he wanted to kill himself, he was 6 years old. i was told that although my son showed signs of autism and ADHD he didn't fulfill the criteria and therefore had neither, as such i was not offered any additional support and refused a referal to CAMHS as they thought he was unsuitable,  my ex found this highly amusing at the time.

That was the first i had heard of autism, so i started to research, the more i researched the more i believed in my own mind that my son was on the spectrum, but because i had been told by the paediatrician he was not i just adopted the coping strategies and soldiered on, my then husband refused to work with me and eventually we separated because things were difficult enough, i just couldn't stand him working against me all the time.

Last year things came to a head with my son, now 11, school was bad, his behaviour was difficult and my strategies no longer seemed to be working, so i went back to my GP and asked for my son to be specifically assessed for ASD, I saw the same paediatrician, who had oviously read her previous notes, so I didn't think i would get anywhere, however i think she was shocked by how my son presented and said his problems were 'very complex', the school appointed an education pschologist on her recommendation, my CAMHS referral came through fairly quickly, and straight away the psychiatrist could see traits in my son, within one hour because to me and her it was obvious she confirmed that he was on the spectrum.

When i told my ex that his son had ASD he laughed and said 'whatever', 'i suppose you were with him', 'what medication are they giving him' as if he doesn't believe or want to believe me, has anyone else had a similar reaction, how did you deal with it?

 

 

 

Parents
  • I hope some of you can agree with me.  I met my partner in Nov 2011 and he had his son living with him who was 10 at the time. As the weeks went on I noticed something not right about his son.  Over the next few months I went on the internet about his behaviour and he was showing classic signs of Aspergers.  The stress for me and my 10 yr old daughter got too much and had to have a word with the headmistress as he was driving my daughter crazy at school - in her face and being nasty to her mates. he only had one female friend and no one else.  By Nov 2012 We could not take the stress anymore and I split up with my partner.  I am sooooo upset over this and miss my partner deeply but since I spoke out about his son - to hopefully get him the help he needs, my partner and his family all turned against me and despise me so much.  I was only wanting help for his son before he starts senior school in Sept cos am convinced he will be bullied as he stands out!!!!! Will my ex ever say sorry to me, have me back and accept his sons' problems?? jayne x

Reply
  • I hope some of you can agree with me.  I met my partner in Nov 2011 and he had his son living with him who was 10 at the time. As the weeks went on I noticed something not right about his son.  Over the next few months I went on the internet about his behaviour and he was showing classic signs of Aspergers.  The stress for me and my 10 yr old daughter got too much and had to have a word with the headmistress as he was driving my daughter crazy at school - in her face and being nasty to her mates. he only had one female friend and no one else.  By Nov 2012 We could not take the stress anymore and I split up with my partner.  I am sooooo upset over this and miss my partner deeply but since I spoke out about his son - to hopefully get him the help he needs, my partner and his family all turned against me and despise me so much.  I was only wanting help for his son before he starts senior school in Sept cos am convinced he will be bullied as he stands out!!!!! Will my ex ever say sorry to me, have me back and accept his sons' problems?? jayne x

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