That is what his teacher said at my 10 yr old sons parents evening!
Diagnosed with ADHD (Age 5), Dyspraxia (age 6) and is being tested for Autism in a few days. Which i believe he has always had its just taken me 10 yrs to get anyone to listen.
I feel this is a very telling statement about my sons education or lack of it. He has always struggled within the school setting. He was unable to read until he was 8 and his writing looks like a child of 5. He has major confidence issues when it comes to writing and it can take him an hour just to write the date at the top of the page. His teacher then sends home any work that is not completed so we have to deal with it at home.
His I.E.P states he should only have to write 3 sentances at a time yet his teacher is expecting full complete stories! When he brings it home we can spend 5 hours trying to complete even the smallest amount, it is a battle of wills, he kicks, screams, crys and tells me he wishs he was never born!
I dont think its fair that it gets sent home and have told them i do not wish 'extra' work to be sent home. It creates tension and we have enough of that!
I have tried to get him statemented but this was at a time when the budget was cut in the area and a lot of people were laid off. Including the one looking into my sons case, this was never picked back up for months. Then i was told it is not possible to statement him because he is not showing any violence or mallace towards the other kids!!!
HE NEEDS one because he is unable to complete ANY work without the help of an assistant. When he gets to work 1-1 he is fab, he will do what is expected of him.
I dont think he has had an education, he is a VERY bright little boy and has the ability but nothing to show for it.
WHAT CAN I DO...Is it worth considering home schooling? do i change schools? he goes to big school next year, do i just leave it till then...
im at my witts end :( He is a little boy who deserves and education but is not recieving one. It makes me very very sad and angry.
anyone in the same boat??
Loulabell xx
I agree with moonraker. You need to be thick skined. Take copy of the work that is being sent home. I've learnt this one this year with my lad to the point where we have stoped sending any work other than spellings home. If we get the work out of him we do. If we don't well he's in school and doing plenty of other things. If you feel that way, make it that way.
Most deffinatly keep a diary of everything. Phone calls, emails, photocopies etc. And fight hard.
Have you tried talking to your educational pshycologist? You need to start acting sooner rather than later.
Thank you for the Links, i have had a wee look and they look very helpful. Im sure they will come in handy very soon!
I do need to keep pushing, but its hard when you feel like your coming up against a brick wall all the time. I have been pushing for 4.5 yrs and have gotten nowhere. Its very demorilising.
My son deserves his education and i will fight tooth and nail till he gets one. If need be i will be seeking legal advice on the matter.
Thanks again for your advice and the links. Its much appricated.
I see what you mean about keeping the two places seperate - school and home, i have said this to his teacher/head teacher and senco all the time. I said that i did not want to bring the hostility that surrounds school work into the home enviroment, by gum its already stressful enough at home without adding more! I was simply told that he needs to complete the work.
This is his second school, i moved him in yr 3 because his old school had also given up on him and would just let him sit in a corner and 'do what he wanted' i mistakenly thought that a fresh start is what he needed (he was also being badly bullied)
I had had many many meetings with all those involved with my son at school, his class teachers, heads, sencos etc yet nothing seems to be happening. He is anxious about school, he makes such a fuss in a morning. I feel dreadful dropping him off.
He again is being bullied at this school. He is always the one to end up in trouble but he is VERY gullable and will say and do what he is told by others in the hope they will be his friend.
I think ill give it till the end of the school year and then have to take drastic action. He is not far off going to big school and that scares me. He would be eaten alive and lost into the system if nothing is done.
Is scary to think that is his his right to recieve an education and he simply isnt getting one!
I think you need to act very quickly here, as I suspect the head at your son's school is 'biding time' until he moves to secondary and it's no longer her problem.
I would contact the Education Rights Service here at NAS for advice:
I had to take the legal route to get the education my son needs and deserves and the best advice I can give you is to keep a diary of things that happen, details of discussions with the Head, SENCO or your son's teacher as you will never remember every detail should you need to. Take copies of the work he brings home before it goes back to school and 'disappears' as if his IEP states 3 sentences then that is what he should be doing but only if he is able to.
I put a complete ban on homework for my son as it was causing so much distress and anxiety and impacting on our home life.
You will need to develop a very thick skin, not care about pestering the LEA until things get done and don't give up, your son deserves an education and the social side of school with the right support in place to help him achieve.
It sounds like your school is very much at fault here. My brother has a mixed diagnosis (ADHD, Turrets, Bipolar and aspergers). I'm also a 1:1 for a child of the same age as your son who is HFA. I can understand how stressful this and how it makes you feel. I feel like it with some of the outside agencies who are meant to be helping my lad.
If his IEP states only 3 sentences then thats all he has to complete. You are not obliged to make him do any more work at home. The reason he his kicking up at home, is because home is seperate to school and he's being made to do school stuff at home. He needs that seperation between the both. Have you tried talking to your schools head teacher or even the SENco?
I wouldn't pull him out of school. You won't get the statement at all. You just have to keep pushing and stamping your feet. He doesn't need to be violent to be statemented. Its harder to get one in secondary than primary so keep doing whatever you have to do. I wouldn't change school either. I've worked with a lad who moved in to my school in year 6. We could have done with having him for another year. It was also to many transitions for him to cope with in one year.
