Ramblings of the mis-wired....

hi tom are you suggesting I start"hand flapping?" Well if the cap fits(just joking no offence intended.)

oh I get it "anchor" could be? Careful people.

We needed a captain so there you go the ships wheel is all yours

Hey missy you can be our lucky mascot and Ellie?well after me being the anchor suggestion! Maybe you can be tied up front as the figure head ha ha,a bit breezy but you could shout"watch out your going to hit that!"?ah well to late.

Probably more unlikely if we weren't! I used to like baking but need lots of prompts to remember to take things out of the oven! 

Would love to see more of your art btw....

no comment on the landlady...but it is an added stress....but the gravel drive us now raked and weeded to an inch of its life! Until the next breeze shakes a few more pine needles!  X

Haha!  They're all a bit school boy!

I'd sooner captain a ferry than a football team (especially if it's taking me to my island).  Swimming's easy.  Just get in the water and flap your arms and legs about a lot - and try not to sink!

That last one was quite school boy young man! Talk about lowering the tone! Haha! 

How you you feel about captaining a ferry and teaching Warrior to swim? 

When you said no one else could do it so you feel obliged to stay on just like with the other garden... are gardeners hard to come by near you? Or do you in some way like having a bit of a routine amongst all the confusion of other things or could you say no I'm stopping after autumn? 

It wouldn't be a tune anyone would want to hear yet!  When I'm happy I quite like cooking sometimes so I'll be on the cooking rota, but we may all be fussy eaters...

Hello fellow Asps!

If you're in the mood for poetry, here's a handful of me limericks... :)

There was an old prophet called Moses

who didn’t like getting wet toeses.

When he got to the sea

he would part it, ‘cos he

was much cleverer than one supposes.

*

A DIY girl called Amanda

bought herself an electrical sander

and used it to smooth

all the pine tongue-and-groove

that she’d used to construct her verandah.

*

An unfortunate chap named McGrath

fell asleep while he lay in the bath,

which shrivelled his skin

from his toes to his chin

and shrank his John Thomas by half.

*

A myopic artist named Peel

portrayed naked women with zeal.

He explained: “The detail

Is achieved using braille –

all the bits I can’t see, I just feel.”

*

A one-armed musician named Lace

played piano with singular grace.

His right hand was smart

with the melody part,

while his foot did the bits in the bass.

*

If ever you walk by a tree

give it plenty of room, ‘cos you see…

it might hold a bird

who’s releasing  a turd

or a squirrel who’s having a wee.

Yes, I think my tolerance is used up by then you are right and they don't pay me enough to overrun my time. I've just had enough of it and would rather put my time into trying to find a way to sell my art and it uses me up. For twenty quid...

It sounds like you have a bit of a nightmare landlady with unreasonable gardening expectations, is she aware that she isn't allowed to just turn up when she feels like it, sounds horribly awkward.

Good idea....maybe she needs the chat though? Difficult isn't it? We want to return to isolation protection and the lady is frightened of it! 

No not good when your shell is thin at the moment. For her to come in then when you have planned your time and energy levels used up..could you ask her to tell you at the beginning or leave a list or make sure she knows you have to leave on time /on time to do xyz

Hey I don't cook anything there..,I just hide in the cutlery drawer! 

Lone would be maintenance man with tools and ropes and stuff.. Ellie likes the kitchen make us something yummy , I could learn how to make fishing nets and swab the decks and Spotty could play a tune  

Is it also because you've planned your bravery levels and tgat chat at the end is just when it has began to wear thin? 

Is that you disappearing into the ether again Spotty?

my landlady has a habit of just turning up on me....it may not be my home....but I still need a sanctuary and somewhere to feel safe...even if it is just a donkey sanctuary! X 

I can sort of read a map but having absolutely no sense of direction wouldn't be helpful! And I don't like heights so no good up the sail... erm .. 

I used up my typing fingers on the 101 thread! Good to see you all though.  My awkward garden woman leaves me to it mostly but has a habit of appearing ten minutes before I'm due to finish and asking me to do something that is a) going to take longer than ten minutes and b) is not garden related and c) I already have planned out what needs to get done in the last minutes. So every week I come home spitting nails and it just isn't a stress I can deal with anymore but I feel guilty saying I don't want to do because there's no one else and she can't do anything anymore. 

That was meant as a joke btw! Skivvy good - but you better cook a mean breakfast