The famous supportive "autism parents" being a myth to me - for mine are nothing like that

I swear every Twitter and Tumblr ASD page keeps posting and posting about these lot. Cool if this is your parents. But what if it's not?

In fact I feel highly annoyed by so many mentions, how awesome and patient they are supposed to be etc. Well guess what, that's not my parents; I still have to convince my own Parents I have autism at all even after diagnosis!

If I haven't made friends with ASD, who knows how long I would've gone undiagnosed, because it would never cross my family's minds that this childish 20-year-old me might simply have Asperger's, and is not a selfish, despotic, stubborn, arrogant, lazy, narcissist many make me out to be :-( (Yes, all of these words I have been called by relatives!).

Another popular one is claiming that I'm just making yet another excuse, as in the past I always felt I was weird and tried to assign many various conditions to myself, such as Schizophrenia, Psychosis, etc. I was only trying to find out the truth about myself for all these years. Yet they believed all I always did is attempt to get out of doing things. It's really not.

Or of course I heard the classic most of you probably heard, “You're just depressed”. And “everyone has some traits of autism don't they?”. Ughhh sigh.

Even my Mum hasn't been helpful either and once asked me, “Why'd you always try to make yourself look weird when you really aren't?”. How am I not??

Luckily what She told during the phone interview for my diagnosis must have been sufficient, despite Her saying She doesn't remember much and that nothing struck her as unusual and that I was a “cheerful, happy child”. Yet from what I heard from the Diagnosis Team when they confirmed I have Asperger's that there was sufficient evidence of ASD traits in childhood, so perhaps what my Mum somehow saw as nothing odd, it was in reality, strongly suggesting She is simply in denial about Her child.

I mean I remember I could do some basic reading aged 4. I remember the first thing I ever wrote, which was (transliterated from Polish) “No dogz aloud” - the naive fool I was really thought that would defer the dog from coming in! (It didn't, by the way). By 5 my skill was polished up to perfection. I would engage in conversations with every bloody stranger, and when I cited that to Mum as evidence of abnormality, She dismissed it as "cute". O_o I also recall everyone remarked how smart I was, and when I was 6 She actually took me to this place which assessed if the child is fit to go to school early (this was still in Poland) and I actually 'passed' - but didn't want to go myself! And before being tested there were these 2 women, chatting about some nonsense I was totally uninterested in - and this rude child me straight up told them" 'Could you stop talking? I have a headache'. Oh man, if you only saw how horrified my Mum was!! Yet today, She doesn't even remember it, how!! Not mentioning I definitely must've copied that headache phrase from somewhere lol.

As for my Father, just check out the “But you don't have autism” anecdote from my previous posts >,<

So… Yeah… I guess I'm just my classic dismayed and bitter that my Parents are not people I could count on, and the Autism Parent memes just seem like lot of dull, pretentious propaganda setting goals and expectations I know my folks will never reach :-(

Parents

Skel1ingt0n over 8 years ago

My father is the same, according to him i am perfectly fine (Although he recently admitted he thinks i'm a bit slow in the head) Funnily enough during my high school days i had numerous meetings where my father had to attend and even though he knows about the extra-lessons i needed and the fact I was put into a class specifically for special needs kids and one particular meeting where a guy told him that i had Dyspraxia, and that i might have ASD, my dad just laughed it off. I am still waiting to be diagnosed with autism, the guy who was giving me all those tests got pushed down the stairs in my high school and never returned. After being called a waste of space plenty of times by my father because when i finished college in 2010 i spent about a year and a half without leaving the house (Sensory Problems) I've finally got a job (it only took me 5 years lol) Growing up I've never really liked any members of my family, my mother was useless and a horrible b!tch but i actually preferred her to other members of my family because she used to tell it like it is. QUESTION: Does anyone else here have a touch problem? I can't stand to be touched and i think dating would be out of the question for me.
Alisha over 8 years ago in reply to Skel1ingt0n

I'm not a fan of being hugged though with Mum it's less awkward I guess; and I was subject of family jokes when I was a kid as when kissed, I would always rub it off. I think I actually grimace when touched.

Reply

Alisha over 8 years ago in reply to Skel1ingt0n

I'm not a fan of being hugged though with Mum it's less awkward I guess; and I was subject of family jokes when I was a kid as when kissed, I would always rub it off. I think I actually grimace when touched.

Children

Daniel over 8 years ago in reply to Alisha

I am ok with hugs from my partner, though even from her I cannot stand light touch. My kids are also an exception. If I am honest I like to hug them, as I know I can, and often they say I hug them to much. That does not stop me though and its nice to get some human contact that does not make me cringe. I winder if this means its psycological, or if my poartner and kids somehow do not fall on my anxiety radar?

Outside of the home its different, and I have had people who know it makes me feel uncomfortable stand overly close on purpose, and even touch me. I have always reacted calmer than I felt, as in a work environment, shouting is not so good. Its a fine line and I sometimes consider it bullying, which I would consider reporting if it happens again.
Skel1ingt0n over 8 years ago in reply to Alisha

We have something in common, the only time iv'e even been hugged was around late 2005 by my mother, i came home from school early because i was sick during a maths test. I think i take after my mother quite a bit although even though she wasn't diagnosed with any mental illnesses, she must of had bipolar disorder. My mom wasn't affectionate towards her children at all, she would go weeks without talking to her kids and occasionally her partner (my dad) she preferred other peoples children to her own. Although she was a horrible b!tch most of the time, she had her moments where i think she was great. (For Example: when i was in school i regularly had a beating from a few kids, then one day my mother was outside my school armed with a baseball bat demanding to know the names of the kids who beat me up the day before, my mom had a punch up with one of the kids parents, after that i never got picked on again. my mother moved out a few months after (she tried to make my dad choose between her and his daughters) even though my dad chose his kids he always visited my mother and helped her with chores and stuff because my mom suffered from ill health for nearly all of her life. I visited her in hospital about 2 years after because she'd fallen down a flight of stairs a broken her hip, when i was about to leave the hospital she told me not to visit her again because she didnt want to see me anymore. A few months after she left i asked my dad to give her a mothers day card but he hid it in his room and she didn't receive it. My mother died on 23rd August 2012, and 2 weeks after i buried my mother i met my half sister for the first time (my mom got rid of her when she was 5 years old), she got married on 6th September 2012, the same day that i buried my mother.