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Invisable aspbergers?

AuraTodd
Imagine the situation. You suffer from Aspbergers and your with a group of people at a support centre. In comes another support worker who is friendly enough, but gives you funny looks because she/he thinks you don't fit the criteria for support; yet you do need support.
It's bad enough when your stared at through narrowed eyes, like their saying 'why does she need help for? There's nothing wrong with her'. But THERE is because it's bad enough feeling like your in a box ...in social situations staring out being judged for what you can and can't do.
Feeling like your not being wanted and feeling embarrassed because you had the courage to admit you had a problem, is not easy. Being made to feel like 'you don't need to be here' when you do is pretty deflating to a condition which is not helped any better by the attitude of 'we can't help you, you just don't fit the bloody bill'.
What do I need to do to prove my autism, it's hard enough trying to get across what I mean. Then people jump the gun and misunderstand what you are talking about, hang on you've got the wrong end of the stick. Do you know or even realise how frustrating it is trying to get people even understand autism in adults? Would you rather we all end up in asylums like back in the 19th century?
A bit of compassion would be nice, surprisingly even some Dr's from the older generation fail to recognise metal health or Aspbergers. Please be patient with adults with Aspbergers, don't get annoyed or impatient. If you do then your in the wrong profession, maybe retail or extra training would suit you better?

Parents

  • Even though I only recently found out that I am on the spectrum (in my mid 50s), I can certainly sympathise with a lot of this.

    After a horrendous school-life where I was constantly bullied for being a misfit, once I had left home & started work, I gradually taught myself to blend in with the crowd. Sadly though, it doesn't always work & being quite good at reading body language, I am very aware that certain people seem to take an instant dislike to me.

    I think it's a bit like the 'Uncanny Valley Effect' reported in video games that try to be to realistic, but end up creating characters that look creepy rather than human. I've got used to it now though. I've always worked in Programming & Data Analysis which is usually fairly 'geek friendly', but in my career I have sometimes been on the receiving end of particularly nasty office politics due to people who visibly took an instant dislike to me.

    Not sure if it would have made things easier if I had been able to tell people I was on the spectrum, but at least I wouldn't have had people commenting that they found it weird how I didn't really like making eye-contact. I quite often tried making a joke of it, saying I reserved eye-contact for when I was trying to chat someone up & I didn't fancy them. At least for me, humour seems to be the best diversionary tactic in most situations. I've always found that people are much more likely to accept me if I can make them laugh.

    I still usually feel like an outsider though & constantly worry that people will see through my performances & realise that I don't belong. One thing that has definitely helped me a lot though was joining a local mental health support group. I was only diagnosed as being on the spectrum this year, but have been on anti-depressants for almost four years now. The friends I have made in a local mental health group have a wide variety of mental health issues, but are all very supportive. This is probably the closest I have ever felt to feeling like I actually belong somewhere & it is like being part of an extended family.

    As long as there is at least one area of your life where you aren't made to feel like an outsider, it seems to make the rest a lot more bearable. Well that & being able to come home to my adorable cat!

    Take care

Reply

  • Even though I only recently found out that I am on the spectrum (in my mid 50s), I can certainly sympathise with a lot of this.

    After a horrendous school-life where I was constantly bullied for being a misfit, once I had left home & started work, I gradually taught myself to blend in with the crowd. Sadly though, it doesn't always work & being quite good at reading body language, I am very aware that certain people seem to take an instant dislike to me.

    I think it's a bit like the 'Uncanny Valley Effect' reported in video games that try to be to realistic, but end up creating characters that look creepy rather than human. I've got used to it now though. I've always worked in Programming & Data Analysis which is usually fairly 'geek friendly', but in my career I have sometimes been on the receiving end of particularly nasty office politics due to people who visibly took an instant dislike to me.

    Not sure if it would have made things easier if I had been able to tell people I was on the spectrum, but at least I wouldn't have had people commenting that they found it weird how I didn't really like making eye-contact. I quite often tried making a joke of it, saying I reserved eye-contact for when I was trying to chat someone up & I didn't fancy them. At least for me, humour seems to be the best diversionary tactic in most situations. I've always found that people are much more likely to accept me if I can make them laugh.

    I still usually feel like an outsider though & constantly worry that people will see through my performances & realise that I don't belong. One thing that has definitely helped me a lot though was joining a local mental health support group. I was only diagnosed as being on the spectrum this year, but have been on anti-depressants for almost four years now. The friends I have made in a local mental health group have a wide variety of mental health issues, but are all very supportive. This is probably the closest I have ever felt to feeling like I actually belong somewhere & it is like being part of an extended family.

    As long as there is at least one area of your life where you aren't made to feel like an outsider, it seems to make the rest a lot more bearable. Well that & being able to come home to my adorable cat!

    Take care

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