Adult son and toileting...

Hi, I am not sure if I have posted this in the right place as I am new to the forum.

My son was diagnosed with High Functioning Autisim when he was 4, he had 3 years of speech thearpy and his early school years were uneventful and he had support.

He seems to have heightened senses of smell and touch and would not play in the sand or make 'mud pies'. He eats spare ribs and chicken on the bone with a knife and fork. These things do not constitute major issues but there is one thing that does and so far I haven't had any contact with someone who has this issue.

He is 19 now and has started an apprentaship which he has had to leave home to do, this in itself is a huge acheivement and we are very proud if not a little worried parents.

He has always had problems with doing a poo, he used to retch in the bathroom when he did go and would get distressed when wiping himself. I was still cleaning him right up to the age of 8/9. I put wet wipes in the bathroom to help, I'm ashamed to say I shouted at him quite a few times and it caused tension in my marriage. His underwear is permantly soiled, he leaves the loo in a state and now he has moved out and sharing bathroom facilities I am so worried about how he is managing this.

Has anyone had this problem or can anyone give advice please?

Parents
  • Hi Clovis,

    Thank you for taking the time to reply.

    I feel confused as the email I received indicated a new post on this thread but when I logged on it was not there. In that comment the poster recommended a small baby bath be used as a bidet. It then went on to suggest I was a self diagnosed fraud. Why has it not been put up on the website.? A personal attack perhaps?

    As to the NAS policy on autism, schools and the NHS I have indeed corresponded privately with them on the subjects referred to. The reply I received confirmed they have no mandate to research the causes of autism and exist merely to raise awareness.

    My suggestion to them was to issue guidance during pre-natal classes on the causes and prevention of autism. They have no plans to do so. The evidence I have seen in research online is that maternal influence is a major cause of autism. It certainly was in my case. It seems the elephant in the room is avoided on this forum due to sympathy with sufferers and their parents. I chose not to avoid it on this occasion. Sorry if this is not PC and if I offended the OP.

    If this site is not for people who are autistic then what is it for?

    I thought it was for exchanges of experience by ASC sufferers and those seeking advice on how to deal with the condition.

    So in this thread the OP got no replies except mine (by your own admission you could not offer any advice) and I chose to at least try and offer a suggestion. To blame this problem on autism is wrong as it is not exclusive to autistic children.

    I have suffered some problems with piles and irritation during my life and self cured those by proper washing and installing a bidet thus saving the NHS having to treat me.

    Not many people are comfortable talking about problems of bodily functions as I have seen from other threads to do with sexual urges, small penises, etc. I have no problem offering practical advice based on my own experience of 68 years of life.

    What I refuse to do is not speak my mind at the same time. Others are welcome to critisise my posts as they wish.

    Take care, Laddie.

    PS I have nothing against you either and would add your posts are usually very good.

Reply
  • Hi Clovis,

    Thank you for taking the time to reply.

    I feel confused as the email I received indicated a new post on this thread but when I logged on it was not there. In that comment the poster recommended a small baby bath be used as a bidet. It then went on to suggest I was a self diagnosed fraud. Why has it not been put up on the website.? A personal attack perhaps?

    As to the NAS policy on autism, schools and the NHS I have indeed corresponded privately with them on the subjects referred to. The reply I received confirmed they have no mandate to research the causes of autism and exist merely to raise awareness.

    My suggestion to them was to issue guidance during pre-natal classes on the causes and prevention of autism. They have no plans to do so. The evidence I have seen in research online is that maternal influence is a major cause of autism. It certainly was in my case. It seems the elephant in the room is avoided on this forum due to sympathy with sufferers and their parents. I chose not to avoid it on this occasion. Sorry if this is not PC and if I offended the OP.

    If this site is not for people who are autistic then what is it for?

    I thought it was for exchanges of experience by ASC sufferers and those seeking advice on how to deal with the condition.

    So in this thread the OP got no replies except mine (by your own admission you could not offer any advice) and I chose to at least try and offer a suggestion. To blame this problem on autism is wrong as it is not exclusive to autistic children.

    I have suffered some problems with piles and irritation during my life and self cured those by proper washing and installing a bidet thus saving the NHS having to treat me.

    Not many people are comfortable talking about problems of bodily functions as I have seen from other threads to do with sexual urges, small penises, etc. I have no problem offering practical advice based on my own experience of 68 years of life.

    What I refuse to do is not speak my mind at the same time. Others are welcome to critisise my posts as they wish.

    Take care, Laddie.

    PS I have nothing against you either and would add your posts are usually very good.

Children
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