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"Coming Out"

Trainspotter

I know it does not suit everyone to 'come out' about their autism and autistic tendencies. 

However, personally I am a great believer in letting others know of problems that I have that may offer some explanation, for their sake as much as mine.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 62.  My behaviour and strange comments and misunderstandings, and 'losing it' have been great discussion points I'm sure among the chattering classes at work since time immoral, long before I was diagnosed.  My manager is aware of my condition (although she does not seem to understand in what way it affects me), and I have told some trusted colleagues and have got noting but support from them.

So now, as I am about to have a workplace assessment for what adjustments can be put in place, I think it is time I 'came out' about my condition.  However, I can't think that everyone will be sympathetic - to some, they will think it is some sort of excuse, a get out of jail free card, a way of avoiding certain tasks.  And I certainly don't want people to treat me as if I can't do anything by myself.  I am just the same person I ever was, however my outbursts, shouting and seemingly unacceptable behaviour at times can be explained.

I am seeking funding so a local support group can give some training to my work colleagues about autism and think this will be useful.  But I don't know whether I should have an announcement made to my colleagues beforehand or just tell someone who I know won't keep their mouth shut and just let it take its natural course. Or should I just leave it to someone else to say.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of (and also that it is really none of anyone elses business apart from I think it will really make things easier for me in the long run, so why am I so apprehensive about all this?  After all, homosexuality was kept 'under the carpet' in the not so distant past and it is now accepted by all but ignorant bigots as something that is just a normal part of some people's lives.

Parents

  • NAS18906 said:

    . I wonder if your manager may fall into the category of not being capable of doing something useful with the information? Some managers are really not good at dealing with other people (some managers are psychopaths, some are autistic, some are clueless, only a few are really good).

    My manager already knew.  After an extended period off with anxiety and depression, management were too insistant on getting me back to the very duties that, with my autism, I was most unsuited for.  I have gone into the TUPE and the resulting change of procedures in previous posts so I will not bore anyone with this here.

    Regarding management, no they did not understand pre diagnosis.  I had disclosed to the manager I was going for an assessment and I think she simply thought it was an excuse to avoid doing some work which I did not want to do = as distinct fromunable to do.  Being referred to Occupational Health pre diagnosis they simply did not take any notice at all of the fact I might be autistic and were most unhelpful, just adding fuel to the manager's fire that I was 'suitable for all duties'.

    My diagnosis soon after led me to referring my self to Access to Work and a further referral from management to the Occupational Health service.  Access to Work could not have been more helpful, even though the work is contracted to Capita and all their baggage.  Then in the same week I saw Occupational Health, this time accompanied by my union representative.  And he having read my diagnosis report and after a period said 'anyone could tell I was autistic, it is so obvious'. 

    So after this, I am to get support from my local autism specialist support organisation, who are assessing the workplace.  I have been excused duties that I could not do.  I am being offered a quieter area to work. Before I disclosed my autism to some people I was getting far more adverse reaction from others, they thought I was just refusing to do certain things and getting my way.  'Coming out' has been a far more positive experience and now I am able to get on with things, even though all the adjustmentts are not yet in place.  Management move slowly, but I am pretty sure things will move to the direction I require.

    As I said in my original post, 'coming out' may not suit everyone.  I was very apprehensive about it.  But now it is me who feels in control of the situation, I'm autistic, others are going to have to accept and live with that. 

    And I must say, so far it seems as though they have in a far more positive way than I ever thought possible.

Reply

  • NAS18906 said:

    . I wonder if your manager may fall into the category of not being capable of doing something useful with the information? Some managers are really not good at dealing with other people (some managers are psychopaths, some are autistic, some are clueless, only a few are really good).

    My manager already knew.  After an extended period off with anxiety and depression, management were too insistant on getting me back to the very duties that, with my autism, I was most unsuited for.  I have gone into the TUPE and the resulting change of procedures in previous posts so I will not bore anyone with this here.

    Regarding management, no they did not understand pre diagnosis.  I had disclosed to the manager I was going for an assessment and I think she simply thought it was an excuse to avoid doing some work which I did not want to do = as distinct fromunable to do.  Being referred to Occupational Health pre diagnosis they simply did not take any notice at all of the fact I might be autistic and were most unhelpful, just adding fuel to the manager's fire that I was 'suitable for all duties'.

    My diagnosis soon after led me to referring my self to Access to Work and a further referral from management to the Occupational Health service.  Access to Work could not have been more helpful, even though the work is contracted to Capita and all their baggage.  Then in the same week I saw Occupational Health, this time accompanied by my union representative.  And he having read my diagnosis report and after a period said 'anyone could tell I was autistic, it is so obvious'. 

    So after this, I am to get support from my local autism specialist support organisation, who are assessing the workplace.  I have been excused duties that I could not do.  I am being offered a quieter area to work. Before I disclosed my autism to some people I was getting far more adverse reaction from others, they thought I was just refusing to do certain things and getting my way.  'Coming out' has been a far more positive experience and now I am able to get on with things, even though all the adjustmentts are not yet in place.  Management move slowly, but I am pretty sure things will move to the direction I require.

    As I said in my original post, 'coming out' may not suit everyone.  I was very apprehensive about it.  But now it is me who feels in control of the situation, I'm autistic, others are going to have to accept and live with that. 

    And I must say, so far it seems as though they have in a far more positive way than I ever thought possible.

Children
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