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"Coming Out"

Trainspotter

I know it does not suit everyone to 'come out' about their autism and autistic tendencies. 

However, personally I am a great believer in letting others know of problems that I have that may offer some explanation, for their sake as much as mine.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 62.  My behaviour and strange comments and misunderstandings, and 'losing it' have been great discussion points I'm sure among the chattering classes at work since time immoral, long before I was diagnosed.  My manager is aware of my condition (although she does not seem to understand in what way it affects me), and I have told some trusted colleagues and have got noting but support from them.

So now, as I am about to have a workplace assessment for what adjustments can be put in place, I think it is time I 'came out' about my condition.  However, I can't think that everyone will be sympathetic - to some, they will think it is some sort of excuse, a get out of jail free card, a way of avoiding certain tasks.  And I certainly don't want people to treat me as if I can't do anything by myself.  I am just the same person I ever was, however my outbursts, shouting and seemingly unacceptable behaviour at times can be explained.

I am seeking funding so a local support group can give some training to my work colleagues about autism and think this will be useful.  But I don't know whether I should have an announcement made to my colleagues beforehand or just tell someone who I know won't keep their mouth shut and just let it take its natural course. Or should I just leave it to someone else to say.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of (and also that it is really none of anyone elses business apart from I think it will really make things easier for me in the long run, so why am I so apprehensive about all this?  After all, homosexuality was kept 'under the carpet' in the not so distant past and it is now accepted by all but ignorant bigots as something that is just a normal part of some people's lives.

Parents

  • I think there is a big difference between letting people know you are an autistic person and getting them to understand what it actually means and how it affects you. I am having an extremely tough time since my diagnosis educating the two non-autistic people closest to me. They really have no willingness to even try to understand.

    I recognise all the positives about me and so do they, but the minute I explain what I'm not so good at they switch off, block me from elaborating, tell me everyone has my experiences, I mustn't worry and worst of all, that I must change when they have no sense at all that they need to change and listen. It's so frustrating when people you care about and who care about you seem unable to accept we have have terrible social anxiety at times and they deny it when we show it. We must do more to get over it. Aaargh!

    So, whilst I still fundamentally believe it is a good thing to help the non-autistic world to be more inclusive for us, this week, infact the whole of January, has been an awful time for me. I now think that I should just clam and not even mention my problems, because they just make it worse for me. I'm sure this is just a bad phase and I will have many more goes. I will find a way, but for now, I'm with the view that caution is needed over who you tell, what you tell and how you tell about yourself, because it can make you incredibly vulnerable. I hope to feel better soon.

Reply

  • I think there is a big difference between letting people know you are an autistic person and getting them to understand what it actually means and how it affects you. I am having an extremely tough time since my diagnosis educating the two non-autistic people closest to me. They really have no willingness to even try to understand.

    I recognise all the positives about me and so do they, but the minute I explain what I'm not so good at they switch off, block me from elaborating, tell me everyone has my experiences, I mustn't worry and worst of all, that I must change when they have no sense at all that they need to change and listen. It's so frustrating when people you care about and who care about you seem unable to accept we have have terrible social anxiety at times and they deny it when we show it. We must do more to get over it. Aaargh!

    So, whilst I still fundamentally believe it is a good thing to help the non-autistic world to be more inclusive for us, this week, infact the whole of January, has been an awful time for me. I now think that I should just clam and not even mention my problems, because they just make it worse for me. I'm sure this is just a bad phase and I will have many more goes. I will find a way, but for now, I'm with the view that caution is needed over who you tell, what you tell and how you tell about yourself, because it can make you incredibly vulnerable. I hope to feel better soon.

Children
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