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"Coming Out"

Trainspotter

I know it does not suit everyone to 'come out' about their autism and autistic tendencies. 

However, personally I am a great believer in letting others know of problems that I have that may offer some explanation, for their sake as much as mine.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 62.  My behaviour and strange comments and misunderstandings, and 'losing it' have been great discussion points I'm sure among the chattering classes at work since time immoral, long before I was diagnosed.  My manager is aware of my condition (although she does not seem to understand in what way it affects me), and I have told some trusted colleagues and have got noting but support from them.

So now, as I am about to have a workplace assessment for what adjustments can be put in place, I think it is time I 'came out' about my condition.  However, I can't think that everyone will be sympathetic - to some, they will think it is some sort of excuse, a get out of jail free card, a way of avoiding certain tasks.  And I certainly don't want people to treat me as if I can't do anything by myself.  I am just the same person I ever was, however my outbursts, shouting and seemingly unacceptable behaviour at times can be explained.

I am seeking funding so a local support group can give some training to my work colleagues about autism and think this will be useful.  But I don't know whether I should have an announcement made to my colleagues beforehand or just tell someone who I know won't keep their mouth shut and just let it take its natural course. Or should I just leave it to someone else to say.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of (and also that it is really none of anyone elses business apart from I think it will really make things easier for me in the long run, so why am I so apprehensive about all this?  After all, homosexuality was kept 'under the carpet' in the not so distant past and it is now accepted by all but ignorant bigots as something that is just a normal part of some people's lives.

Parents

  • Continuing the thread I started .....

    Like you, Disbeliever, I don't think I would have bothered about considering telling anyone apart from the problems I have been facing latterly at work.  Work was not a problem to me until the TUPE timebomb was primed and all the attendant issues that threw up.

    I saw my employers Occupational Health providers last week.  This time it was a far more positive experience for me than previously, at least I thought someone understood.  I was told by the doctor at Occupational Health that my ASD was obvious and even if I hadn't had a diagnosis he would still have thought that I was on the spectrum.  Strange why the previous occupational health doctor wasn't as convinced before my diagnosis.

    With the 'adjustments' recommended by Access to Work and by Occupational Health, and the support of my local Autism support organisation at work, it will be well nigh impossible to keep it secret anyway. Most people think I am very strange anyway.  So I think it will be better if people are comfortable mentioning my autism, not pretending as if it doesn't exist.  It is a normal part of my life, it is me, and I am it.

    But however many times I keep saying that to myself, however much I try convincing myself, I feel as apprehensive and potentially embarrassed about it as I would about turning up to work naked.  Everyone can imagine what 'parts' I have under my clothes but that would not stop the embarrassment if it actually happened.

    In reality, I imagine when the time comes to reveal my condition that most others would not care less about it.

Reply

  • Continuing the thread I started .....

    Like you, Disbeliever, I don't think I would have bothered about considering telling anyone apart from the problems I have been facing latterly at work.  Work was not a problem to me until the TUPE timebomb was primed and all the attendant issues that threw up.

    I saw my employers Occupational Health providers last week.  This time it was a far more positive experience for me than previously, at least I thought someone understood.  I was told by the doctor at Occupational Health that my ASD was obvious and even if I hadn't had a diagnosis he would still have thought that I was on the spectrum.  Strange why the previous occupational health doctor wasn't as convinced before my diagnosis.

    With the 'adjustments' recommended by Access to Work and by Occupational Health, and the support of my local Autism support organisation at work, it will be well nigh impossible to keep it secret anyway. Most people think I am very strange anyway.  So I think it will be better if people are comfortable mentioning my autism, not pretending as if it doesn't exist.  It is a normal part of my life, it is me, and I am it.

    But however many times I keep saying that to myself, however much I try convincing myself, I feel as apprehensive and potentially embarrassed about it as I would about turning up to work naked.  Everyone can imagine what 'parts' I have under my clothes but that would not stop the embarrassment if it actually happened.

    In reality, I imagine when the time comes to reveal my condition that most others would not care less about it.

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