"Coming Out"

I know it does not suit everyone to 'come out' about their autism and autistic tendencies. 

However, personally I am a great believer in letting others know of problems that I have that may offer some explanation, for their sake as much as mine.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 62.  My behaviour and strange comments and misunderstandings, and 'losing it' have been great discussion points I'm sure among the chattering classes at work since time immoral, long before I was diagnosed.  My manager is aware of my condition (although she does not seem to understand in what way it affects me), and I have told some trusted colleagues and have got noting but support from them.

So now, as I am about to have a workplace assessment for what adjustments can be put in place, I think it is time I 'came out' about my condition.  However, I can't think that everyone will be sympathetic - to some, they will think it is some sort of excuse, a get out of jail free card, a way of avoiding certain tasks.  And I certainly don't want people to treat me as if I can't do anything by myself.  I am just the same person I ever was, however my outbursts, shouting and seemingly unacceptable behaviour at times can be explained.

I am seeking funding so a local support group can give some training to my work colleagues about autism and think this will be useful.  But I don't know whether I should have an announcement made to my colleagues beforehand or just tell someone who I know won't keep their mouth shut and just let it take its natural course. Or should I just leave it to someone else to say.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of (and also that it is really none of anyone elses business apart from I think it will really make things easier for me in the long run, so why am I so apprehensive about all this?  After all, homosexuality was kept 'under the carpet' in the not so distant past and it is now accepted by all but ignorant bigots as something that is just a normal part of some people's lives.

Parents
  • Interesting thread.

    I only got confirmation of AS a couple of weeks ago and so far told no one other than my parents. I have no specific problems at work, I have things that are stressful and I find hard to do (meetings and engagements with customers specifically) but everyone has hard stuff to do now and then. The thing I dread most actually is lunch and meeting someone I know in the canteen and having to eat with a bunch of people I barely know. I usually grab and eat at my desk.

    I currently do not intend to tell anyone at work, if I start to see problems occurring Ill probably explain the issue (not the underlying cause) and work around it, "it's just me, I don't do/handle xyz well". However, if someone asks me a direct question regarding autism I see no reason not to tell them. I'm not going to hide it, just not advertise it.

    I also do not intend to mention it on any medical form unless explicitly asked and it has some relevance. As far as I'm concerned I'm me and I'm trying to be happy with that as I can't change it.

    I haven't worked out what to do with friends and family yet though.

Reply
  • Interesting thread.

    I only got confirmation of AS a couple of weeks ago and so far told no one other than my parents. I have no specific problems at work, I have things that are stressful and I find hard to do (meetings and engagements with customers specifically) but everyone has hard stuff to do now and then. The thing I dread most actually is lunch and meeting someone I know in the canteen and having to eat with a bunch of people I barely know. I usually grab and eat at my desk.

    I currently do not intend to tell anyone at work, if I start to see problems occurring Ill probably explain the issue (not the underlying cause) and work around it, "it's just me, I don't do/handle xyz well". However, if someone asks me a direct question regarding autism I see no reason not to tell them. I'm not going to hide it, just not advertise it.

    I also do not intend to mention it on any medical form unless explicitly asked and it has some relevance. As far as I'm concerned I'm me and I'm trying to be happy with that as I can't change it.

    I haven't worked out what to do with friends and family yet though.

Children
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