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"Coming Out"

Trainspotter

I know it does not suit everyone to 'come out' about their autism and autistic tendencies. 

However, personally I am a great believer in letting others know of problems that I have that may offer some explanation, for their sake as much as mine.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 62.  My behaviour and strange comments and misunderstandings, and 'losing it' have been great discussion points I'm sure among the chattering classes at work since time immoral, long before I was diagnosed.  My manager is aware of my condition (although she does not seem to understand in what way it affects me), and I have told some trusted colleagues and have got noting but support from them.

So now, as I am about to have a workplace assessment for what adjustments can be put in place, I think it is time I 'came out' about my condition.  However, I can't think that everyone will be sympathetic - to some, they will think it is some sort of excuse, a get out of jail free card, a way of avoiding certain tasks.  And I certainly don't want people to treat me as if I can't do anything by myself.  I am just the same person I ever was, however my outbursts, shouting and seemingly unacceptable behaviour at times can be explained.

I am seeking funding so a local support group can give some training to my work colleagues about autism and think this will be useful.  But I don't know whether I should have an announcement made to my colleagues beforehand or just tell someone who I know won't keep their mouth shut and just let it take its natural course. Or should I just leave it to someone else to say.

I know I have nothing to be ashamed of (and also that it is really none of anyone elses business apart from I think it will really make things easier for me in the long run, so why am I so apprehensive about all this?  After all, homosexuality was kept 'under the carpet' in the not so distant past and it is now accepted by all but ignorant bigots as something that is just a normal part of some people's lives.

Parents

  • Hi trainspotter

    I saw your posting and decided to register, as I have had to address similar issues.

    I think it's a good idea to help your manager understand your needs before spreading the word wider. Focus on what you can do and what you think you need to help you do the other tasks as your employer would like.

    Reasonable adjustments are your right, although it may take time to get the correct package for your needs.

    It took me a year before I explained to colleagues that I was autistic and I don't think it meant much to them, or to my closer people. They accept me for who I am and don't understand much when I try to explain.

    My only need to extend wider is to spread general word about autism. If anyone reacted negatively they would not be part of my life. I shield myself quite well. It takes something strong inside to reveal your real self and I think good people respect that. If you're not ready, or need help, your manager could broker this for you.

Reply

  • Hi trainspotter

    I saw your posting and decided to register, as I have had to address similar issues.

    I think it's a good idea to help your manager understand your needs before spreading the word wider. Focus on what you can do and what you think you need to help you do the other tasks as your employer would like.

    Reasonable adjustments are your right, although it may take time to get the correct package for your needs.

    It took me a year before I explained to colleagues that I was autistic and I don't think it meant much to them, or to my closer people. They accept me for who I am and don't understand much when I try to explain.

    My only need to extend wider is to spread general word about autism. If anyone reacted negatively they would not be part of my life. I shield myself quite well. It takes something strong inside to reveal your real self and I think good people respect that. If you're not ready, or need help, your manager could broker this for you.

Children
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