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never ending nightmare

Rach91

Hello I'm Rachel I've made a few posts on here anyway I have asperges syndrome and I suffer from depression. I am try to recover and when I finally start to feel happy and the depression starts to go away something always happens that brings me down again. I just feel that iI'm being punished amd that I don't deserve to be happy.  For example a few days ago my ex agreed to meet me as a friend I got really excited all set to meet him today for a coffee and to make a fresh start move on from the brake up and to start over as close friends that's all I want. Anyway this morning he texts me saying he can't make it because he has a job interview and starts his new job tomorrow. I just feel I, go into this bubble of happiness and someone comes along and bursts it. Just wanna am I we meant to be happy or are we all just living a never ending nightmare. I can't stand it anymore, I just wanna be happy again and for once can't something just go right for me or am I being punishment for, all the bad I've done.  

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  • Thanks for the advice my nightmare seems to have gone from bad to worse my ex was sacked from his job last week and I feel I am the cause of it. After the night we broke up I almost destroyed his life now I feel 6 months after the incident I am destroying his life. Theres me working in a hospital looking after the elderly and sick that has done bad things and my ex then suffers from my mistakes but why does he want to be my friend after everything I've done he says he doesn't hate me and wants to be my friend.  :(

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  • Thanks for the advice my nightmare seems to have gone from bad to worse my ex was sacked from his job last week and I feel I am the cause of it. After the night we broke up I almost destroyed his life now I feel 6 months after the incident I am destroying his life. Theres me working in a hospital looking after the elderly and sick that has done bad things and my ex then suffers from my mistakes but why does he want to be my friend after everything I've done he says he doesn't hate me and wants to be my friend.  :(

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