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I think is normal!

Happydora

hello, I am waiting for help and diagnosis and so pleased I found this group.  I wanted to say something about hobbies and interests... I have always been told the things I have done over the years and even now is obsessive.  To me I don't see obsessive,I see a real interest in what I do or was doing at the time.

i can remember being a child and loving horses, I had to have everything that had horses on it! Bedding, clothing, books....all of it.  Out in shops with my parents as a child I could not leave something horse related on a shelf in a shop... It had to come with me.  Then one day my parents took me to a riding stables, I spent all my time in there! Before school, after school weekends...and lived in my riding clothes, would not take them off.  I was told I smelled like a horse.. Did not bother me I liked it.  When I moved some years later I was distraught I can't hold not go to the stables anymore, it upset me for ages. Then one day I just did not want to be around anything to do with horses, my mum had to empty my room of everything horsy as I refused to look at it all.

that was as a child...then growing up I got fixated in books, Stephen King books.  I needed them, all of them, I liked the look, feel and smell of them...they had to be new, no second hand ones.  I did not read them, I have never read a book in my life, I struggle with that with having dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia.  I just cannot get into a book, its just words and I cannot make the conection with the story. I cannot picture things in my head either so reading books just does not work for me... I later found out that I am a kinaesthetic learner so makes perfect sense! I think collecting books was my way of looking normal and trying to fit in as I knew people that read and collected books. Silly I know but I want so much to fit in and be accepted.

there have been lots of other things I get fixated on, when this happens I cannot stop thinking about it and need to interact with it, the books, I used to just feel and look at th covers...moving them on the shelf.  

Has anyone else been like this? I guess I just want to feel accepted here too...

Parents

  • Hello Happydora,

    From an Aspergian perspective, it is not really a case of thinking that you are normal - but rather more a case of knowing that you are. Consider for instance that in nature, "Dissimilarity is similarity," and as such - "the only way of life is every way of life." 

    I am glad that you mentioned the differences involved with 'real interests' and obsessions. Of course, having a singlular interest, or a narrow range of interests - does not specifically make someone obsessional, although it often seems obsessive for those who have multiple interests.

    There is also the problem that people with singular interests are particularly prone to having obsessive compulsions, especially if they have been consistently thrawted in terms of exploring their development. Consider as a contrast that a Family of a higher functioning aspergian child was getting plagued with questions from him, so the step-father said, "Rather than just asking me for the answer to questions, come up with three possible answers, and then we will have even more things to talk about."

    As for collecting things I did not use, as a teenaager records were my thing there, where it was actually the art on the covers of the albums that interested me the most. This is not to say I did not listen to my vinyl records, but my dyspraxia meant that playing them involved them getting ruined with scratches.

    I also have a love for the smell of some new or most old books, but I do not like books that smell bad becuase they have not been looked after. I adore though reading even though I have dyslexia, and I find it usefull for ensuring an in depth reading of things - especially when it comes to ancient Greek theosphy and philosphy writings on the subject matter of consciousness, experience and awarenes. Such stuff is my comfort reading and the basis of my research and writings - but my visual dyslexia does make reading a fruitless endeavour when I get overwhelmed or exhuasted. This can get pretty difficult for a number of months or even several years, so watching aspirational feel good films is my comfort viewing when this is the case.

    Two films that really gave me a lift this last year - were the film 'Concussion - Nothing Hits Harder Than The Truth', starring: Will Smith, Alac Baldwin and a whole host of stars, with the subject matter being very relevant for PTSD sufferers, some forms of Autism, and many forms of Personality Disorders; and the film 'Trumbo', starring: Bryan Cranston, Diane Lane, Helen Mirren and a whole host of stars also too, with the subject matter involving the abuse of people who really were trying to bring the concept of civilisation to people who tend to mistake civilisation for social terrorism. Both of these films gave a clear message that punishing people for their mistakes is counter-productive, whilst compassionately learning from our mistakes together and healing together is not only productive, but essential for everyones health in the long term.

    I really hope this was not too long, but much more importantly - I hope that you have a wonderful diagnostic experience, and remember that it can be fundamentally life changing - so take it as slowly and gentally as you possibly can.  

Reply

  • Hello Happydora,

    From an Aspergian perspective, it is not really a case of thinking that you are normal - but rather more a case of knowing that you are. Consider for instance that in nature, "Dissimilarity is similarity," and as such - "the only way of life is every way of life." 

    I am glad that you mentioned the differences involved with 'real interests' and obsessions. Of course, having a singlular interest, or a narrow range of interests - does not specifically make someone obsessional, although it often seems obsessive for those who have multiple interests.

    There is also the problem that people with singular interests are particularly prone to having obsessive compulsions, especially if they have been consistently thrawted in terms of exploring their development. Consider as a contrast that a Family of a higher functioning aspergian child was getting plagued with questions from him, so the step-father said, "Rather than just asking me for the answer to questions, come up with three possible answers, and then we will have even more things to talk about."

    As for collecting things I did not use, as a teenaager records were my thing there, where it was actually the art on the covers of the albums that interested me the most. This is not to say I did not listen to my vinyl records, but my dyspraxia meant that playing them involved them getting ruined with scratches.

    I also have a love for the smell of some new or most old books, but I do not like books that smell bad becuase they have not been looked after. I adore though reading even though I have dyslexia, and I find it usefull for ensuring an in depth reading of things - especially when it comes to ancient Greek theosphy and philosphy writings on the subject matter of consciousness, experience and awarenes. Such stuff is my comfort reading and the basis of my research and writings - but my visual dyslexia does make reading a fruitless endeavour when I get overwhelmed or exhuasted. This can get pretty difficult for a number of months or even several years, so watching aspirational feel good films is my comfort viewing when this is the case.

    Two films that really gave me a lift this last year - were the film 'Concussion - Nothing Hits Harder Than The Truth', starring: Will Smith, Alac Baldwin and a whole host of stars, with the subject matter being very relevant for PTSD sufferers, some forms of Autism, and many forms of Personality Disorders; and the film 'Trumbo', starring: Bryan Cranston, Diane Lane, Helen Mirren and a whole host of stars also too, with the subject matter involving the abuse of people who really were trying to bring the concept of civilisation to people who tend to mistake civilisation for social terrorism. Both of these films gave a clear message that punishing people for their mistakes is counter-productive, whilst compassionately learning from our mistakes together and healing together is not only productive, but essential for everyones health in the long term.

    I really hope this was not too long, but much more importantly - I hope that you have a wonderful diagnostic experience, and remember that it can be fundamentally life changing - so take it as slowly and gentally as you possibly can.  

Children
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