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Life

Dulleyes

Im not really sure what is wrong with me at the moment i just feel weird i cant really explain it im just all over the place things annoy me when they shouldnt that not out of the ordinary but it does seem to be more frequent im just at that point in my life where i dont what to wake up in the morning. my life is pretty boring i like gaming but just cant seem to enjoy them anymore im trying to find things to keep me busy but nothing seems to work.i used to be unable to leave the house and talk to people out of the house and i was basicaly mute until i was fifteen i never even talked to family that much .Its only in the last year i started talking to family alot to the point that i think i annoy them just by talking to much. Ive only be able to talk to strangers in this way in the last couple of days. with my anger problems i freak out get really angry if someone gets violent with me and i have worries that i might hurt someone one day so i always dislike putting myself out into world. i just cant stand the things that seem to be unavoidable as someone  with asd. im currently seeing a doctor for depression and that seem like it has taking ages to get nowhere but the fact i can talk is something the me of a year couldnt do so i just dont know. i dont even really Know what i expect of the putting up this message but i just felt like doing it. I have had thoughts of suicide but i dont want to end my life. it just feels like im waiting for some magic wand to be waved and things to get better. i just dont know what to do to make my life better. sorry for the depressing message but i just feel like maybe someone might have an answer.  

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  • Well, this is a problem expressed by many people on the autistic spectrum, that is, they feel very different from other people, almost like an alien.

    But, really, you could look at it from the other way and say it is neural typical people that are 'different' and it is only because they are in the majority that they think they are 'normal.' The thing to remember, PGK, is that you can't help how you are wired and you don't behave in ways that other people find odd on purpose. In fact, you have shown how concerned you are about what other people consider as 'normal' because you were talking about what happens when a family member dies.

    So it's not that you are a cold, unfeeling individual, otherwise you wouldn't have any conscience about your behaviour. No, you are very concerned about others, but because of your wiring can't react in exactly the same way as they expect you to react.

    This isn't your fault so please don't feel bad about it. The problem is more with other people who either don't understand or don't want to understand you.

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  • Well, this is a problem expressed by many people on the autistic spectrum, that is, they feel very different from other people, almost like an alien.

    But, really, you could look at it from the other way and say it is neural typical people that are 'different' and it is only because they are in the majority that they think they are 'normal.' The thing to remember, PGK, is that you can't help how you are wired and you don't behave in ways that other people find odd on purpose. In fact, you have shown how concerned you are about what other people consider as 'normal' because you were talking about what happens when a family member dies.

    So it's not that you are a cold, unfeeling individual, otherwise you wouldn't have any conscience about your behaviour. No, you are very concerned about others, but because of your wiring can't react in exactly the same way as they expect you to react.

    This isn't your fault so please don't feel bad about it. The problem is more with other people who either don't understand or don't want to understand you.

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